I have no idea where this blog is going to go, and to be honest, i'm ok with that. Sometimes those turn out to be the most helpful. So here goes nothing. If it makes no sense when it's finished, i appologize, and if it does, great.
Today was another rough morning with Ivy at school. She seems to have bad mornings, but ok days. The closer we got to the class, the more she seemed aprehensive (sp?), and when we finally got to her classroom door, she started crying and didn't want to go in. I'm not sure what's going on, but as the day goes on, apparently she has a better day, because she usually comes home with a smile on her face and telling me about things that she did at school. I just don't understand why she has such a hard time in the mornings. We need to figure something out that will help her with that time of day, and we will be good. And as far as school is concerned, i think i'm going to let her stay at highland park for the rest of this year, come hell or high water. I'm doing this for a couple reasons. The first being, what if she actually does grow to love the school, and if i pull her out she will never get the chance. The second is that she enjoys the social interaction up there, and that's a good way for her to make some new friends. And the third is that i don't think she has the mental ability to stay focused enough, and i don't have the time or place to really help her stay focused at home. I think in the long run, it will be better for her to stay in the school than me pull her out and risk the chance of going further into her shell than before. It's not worth the risk. And then, if she still has a super rough year, we will focus on her homeschooling next year. That way i can find things to do with Desiree while I would be working with Ivy, and keep her occupied long enough to get Ivy's work done. We will just wait it out and see where it leads us.
They came and reposessed the car today. We knew it was going to happen, and to be honest, it's a good thing it's gone, seeing as how we can't afford it anyway, and there were a million things wrong with it. But at the same time, it is a bit of a loss for me. It was a nice car, when it actually worked, and it helped me feel safe. I'm having to get used to a new car now, and it's not that easy. At least this one seems a bit more solid than the sonatta did. But the fact that Ruben's credit is going to be shit again, and we are going to have to make everything work without having any credit, yet again, is gonna suck. I am wanting to have a home sometime in the near future. I don't want to have to live in a damn apartment for the next 7 years while we wait for the damn car to fall off his credit. Just frustrating.
Tonight, i made it a point to get out and do something fun with the girls. We were fighting with homework, stressing over things that need to get done, and all around bored and frustrated. SOO, i got us all dressed, put us in the car, and took us down to the water canal. We took a walk over to peachwave and had some strawberry and chocolate frozen yogurt with some almonds, then we walked around the corner to the bricktown candy company and bought us each some candy, and then we walked on over to the park and let the girls play for a few minutes before walking back to the car while watching the sunset. It was beautiful out there, and i'm so glad that the weather is calm, at least for a few days. That way maybe we can actually get out and do things without it being too damn hot to enjoy it. We don't have a lot of money, but there are a lot of things we can do for free, or for very little money. And i'm glad it's the season for it all.
I need to get to bed, but my mind is still racing. There are a million things i still need to do, but i'm fighting with some serious anxiety over some of it. I need to call and get the doctors appointment, dentist appointment, and update from the lawyer. And Ruben needs to call and find out about the electric bill, rather or not we can pay it a few days late or not, so i can figure out what needs to go where. And we need to get the air conditioner filter replaced. It's making all our allergies flair up. And then i need to run by his mother's house and pick up the laundry, food stuffs, and a few other things that got left over there. THEN, thursday is the open house thing at the school. AND ruben's payday. So it's gonna be a bit of a busy week. But whatever. not the end of the world. i just hope it actually happens as smootly as i'd like it to. It's hard enough to keep up with everything when i can barely remember everything in the first place, let alone when things get crazy. UGH, so here's hopeing....
Right now, i'm gonna crash and hopefully get a good nights sleep. That would make this week a hell of a lot easier. BLAH
LYZ
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