It's a brand new day

Not going into details, but yesterday was a really really rough day. Lots of not so great happened, and lots of heartbreak ensued. 

But today is a brand new day

I started therapy again this morning.  Been quite a while since I was in therapy, so it was a nice thing to have today.  Being able to really be able to talk about things is going to be a good thing.  I mean, I love talking to my hubby, but sometimes it's nice to talk to someone who can really truly help with the whole thing.  Someone who can help with better ways to tackle the problem instead of just listening to me talk a little bit.  I love my hubby something fierce, and would never want to live my life without him.  But it was nice to talk to a therapist again.

I truly think her and I are going to be a good fit.

And she also signed me up for the health team stuff.  Basically I've got a few other things that I can have done up at Red Rock now because of it.  So that's gonna be interesting.

Gonna focus on getting the house good and cleaned and decluttered over the next little bit.  HOPEFULLY it doesn't take too long cause I don't think I'll be able to keep up for that long.

On a not so great note, I'm gonna have to wait for a new script before I can take my Avonex again.  :(  Apparently the other prescription expired and I don't see my new neuro until Dec 20.  I'm HOPING that they can do something before then, but if not it's not the end of the world.  Just REALLY annoying.  BLAH!

But thanks to hubby I was able to calm down a bit.  When I first found out I freaked out.  But hubby is awesome and helped me out a ton.

Thankfully tomorrow is payday.  I need to get a few things taken care of.  Like grocery shopping.  And hopefully we can get the stuff done for my mother in laws car.  Need 2 new tires and 2 new turn signals.  We've borrowed it long enough that that would be a good way to help pay her back for it.

Anyway, it's getting on time to go get hubby from work, so I'm out.  Hope everyone had a great day.

LATER TATER

Lynz

9-11 = NEVER FORGET

It's hard to believe that September 11 happened 15 years ago!

I still remember getting a phone call to turn the TV on because things were happening.  I remember turning on the TV just as the second plane hit the second tower in NYC.  I remember dropping my TV remote.  I still can't believe, to this day, that something so dramatic happened on American soil.  

I am so thankful for my best friend, Cassie, who came over and spent the day watching crappy movies, eating pizza, and keeping me distracted because I was a WRECK.

Now, 15 years later, this day will always hold a spot in my heart.  It breaks me every time I think about it.  How many people lost their lives.  All because of some terrorists who thought they were right.  

Frankly,  I don't give a shit about most of the shit that happens.  Politics and all that jazz will never matter to me, EVER.  Just the way I was raised.  But when something so dramatic happens, it's hard to turn a blind eye.  

So here's to all the amazing people who lost their lives trying to save those in the world trade center, and all the other places that were affected that day.  Here's to all the civilians who lost their lives.  To all the rescue people who suffered for years before dying because of the things they were exposed to.  And to those who still survive today.  My heart goes out to you!

Thank you for all you did!

Lets make the most of our days.  We never know what tomorrow may bring.

Lynz

So very much

Right now there is SO MUCH going on.  It's insane.

Yesterday was the longest day I've had in a while, but it's all good.

Girls ended up coming home from school mid-day. Then we did lunch with Ruben. Then dropped the girls off with grandma and went to my Red Rock appointment.  They started me on a new antidepressant - Zoloft I believe is what it is (I've got the generic, so I can't really remember, but yeah) that I started this morning. I take half a pill for three days, then I start the full dose.  I can already feel a difference this morning, so that's nice.  They we kept me on the buspar, doxizosin (sp?), and quentipine.  SOO yeah. I'm currently technically on 4 different antidepressants, lol. How sad is that? But hey, if it works great. 

Then I went on a mission looking for the stuff to treat the girls hair with. I am SO SICK of headlice it's not even funny. BUT we will keep doing what we have to do.  I'm just ready for the ability to start homeschooling next year. And I'm excited to get out of this apartment cause I'm sick of fighting with them

We had pest control yesterday, we have an inspection today, I'm fighting with them over our pets. We signed our first lease with all three pets listed, and they only made us pay the one pet deposit.  But now they are trying to say they didn't know we had 3 pets, and we need to pay the other two pet deposits.  It is exhausting to say the least.  We will see what happens with the inspection. HOPEFULLY they don't pull random bullshit and try to kick us out cause that would make it really hard to find somewhere else to go.  We are filling out paperwork to try to rent to own a mobile home, but we will see if that works out or not.

Hubby has a job interview this afternoon, so we are crossing our fingers so we can get that taken care of.  I'm seriously hoping for that because it would be fantastic to be able to really afford everything and still have a little money left.  IT's so frustrating to have to live paycheck to paycheck and barely make the bills. So yeah *fingers crossed*

I'm watching the hunger games movies.  The hunger games, Catching fire, and Mockingjay pt 1. We were able to pick them up for pretty cheap, AND ahead of time, on Vudu. I'm loving it. :) 

Anyway, I'm gonna get back to my day.  LATER TATER!

People like us

I used to think I was alone in this fight. I used to think that I'd have to always fight alone. I used to believe that nothing would work. But then I met people dealing with the same things as me. I realized that sometimes the things we fear the most are never going to come to pass.  It's still a battle. It's still something I'm going to have to fight with, probably for the rest of my life.  It's something I'm going to have to learn to DEAL with instead of something that's going to magically be cured.  I won't wake up one day and the PTSD have magically disappeared, or the Bi-polar. It's something that I will have to learn to handle better, but it will never go away.

 

And you know what?  I'm ok with that.  I'm not alone. I know I have people backing me up, and I have friends that deal with the same things as me.  I am going to make it through this. I know it's going to be a fight. But like I've read before, you never know how strong you can be until being strong is the only thing you can do.  I'm starting to see that I'm a hell of a lot stronger than I ever imagined I was.

 

Yesterday was a bad day.  Every little thing was pissing me off. Every little thing was breaking my heart, of making me cry, or pushing me to a rage.  All extreme emotions that I couldn't get ahold of. I took it out on people around me, and I hate that that happens sometimes.  I know it will. I know it will end that way sometimes, and I'm just thankful that the people in my life know not to take it personally, because It breaks my heart to believe that it's hurting them too.

 

One of my new favorite songs (at least for now) is People Like Us by Kelly Clarkson.  Have a listen.

 



 

 

We are all misfits living in a world on fire.

Sing it for the people like us

the people like us

 

We should be getting our income tax today.  So we will start doing some serious shopping and house hunting.  Gonna be a good couple months. Gonna be CRAZY, but it's ok. We will get out of this apartment, we will have a working car, we will get a vacation together next month.  We will be able to make our bills without having to stress and pinch pennies.  It will be good.  I know it will be.

 

My next Red Rock appointment is the 17th.  Doubt we will change too much because, for the time being at least, the meds seem to be doing their jobs. It's sad to me that I'm on 3 different antidepressants right now, but you gotta do what you gotta do right?  Guess we will see what happens.

 

I hope everyone is doing well.

LATER TATER

Thankful?

Today I am struggling to find things that I'm thankful for. Probably just a combo of PTSD, MS, and the weather changing that has me this way. I know I have a lot of things in my life to be thankful for, but I'm having a hard time seeing them today. SOO I'm issuing a challenge to all of you guys out there.

 

Now, I know the vast majority of you guys read but don't comment, but this post I am asking for your comments.

 

Things have gone a little crazy/ bad for me lately. Physically and mentally It's been a struggle. I need things to be happy about.

 

SO PLEASE COMMENT WITH THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY!

 

Reading what everyone is thankful for always seems to help.

 

Please!  Nothing is too big or small. Just need the help finding a little inspiration.

 

Thanks guys

 

LATER TATER!