thinking

the holidays are a difficult time for me. Surrounded by so much of Ruben's family and realizing that i will never get to have these memories with my family hurts sometimes. It makes me extreamely homesick. Makes me miss my friends and family so bad it hurts. Has me on the verge of tears, especially when drama comes in to play.

My sister in law can be so many different things all at once. She can be great to talk to, but if you say something she doesn't want to hear she can become the bitch of the century. She can be a huge help, but if you tell her that she's not doing something the way it needs to be, she can completely flip and destroy anything she just fixed. Today, she was working in the kitchen with cooking (which she did an AWESOME job on). She had some craft stuff in the living room. She KNEW we were on our way over, and that the kids would be primarily in the living room. So when we got there and the girls got into the feathers she had there, she FLIPPED! Threw attitude all around, pissed off that the girls got into her stuff, even though it was her fault it got left there in the first place. UGH, sometimes i hate going over there. And then when i asked if they could play with one each, she threw shit at me. Basically she flipped out because she had said no, even though she really has no right to discipline my girls, and she shoudln't have had the shit in the living room in the first place. Whatever, no big deal, i got over it pretty fast, But she had to drag it out and stir shit up for another hour. I even overheard her say that i almost got punched over it. GROW THE FUCK UP! I would have replaced the entire bag for her. The girls were happy, playing, and not getting into anything else or making a mess. Sorry, but i don't exactilly see that as a bad thing. SO WHAT if you lose a few feathers? It's not like they cost an arm and a leg or anything, and i offered to replace them. UGH, i swear, it's so frustrating.

But after we avoided each other for a little while and let her burn her petty bullshit anger off, we actually had a pretty good lunch. Ruben got a gift from his brother of Southern Comfort (which is great, since we can't afford to get anymore for this weekend with the boys) The food was AWESOME. And we are doing it again for dinner. gotta love leftovers, lol. We watched How to Train Your Dragon, which is addorable. And just sat around and chit chatted for a good hour before we had to get home and get Ruben into bed. I tried to take a nap, but i couldn't get to sleep with the headache i had. Probably tension and the weather change. It's hard to deal with so much all the time. At least Ruben was there to talk me down and help chill me out so it didn't drag out for the rest of the time we were there.

And just a few minutes ago we ran to the store so we don't even have to leave the house tomorrow. Sometimes, being broke isn't such a bad thing. Black friday sales are sometimes great, but most of the time it's just a bunch of crazy people not getting the deals they think they are getting and not even realizing it. Most of the stuff on sale is older model stuff, no name games, and lacking equipment. There's even a link about some of the sales on the yahoo news page. And of course, there are the people that wait in line for HOURS waiting for these horrible sales. The earliest i hear of things starting here is 3:00am at Kohls. Seriously? Who in their right mind would get up THAT early just to catch a special. I'm sorry, but i don't usually even buy things that are on the black friday sales. So me not going right away, is not so much a bad thing. Most of my stuff will probably come from the internet this year anyway. Except for the girls, but i might just hit toys r us right around the corner and get them some stuff from there. Or get them gift cards and let them pick out something for themselves. We aren't gonna have as much as we thought we would have this year. Things keep piling up, and we aren't gonna be able to catch up until after the first of the year, which sucks. BUT, at least we can make up for it at the start of the year.

For thanksgiving this year i made cupcakes. I made confetti cupcakes with guava icing, which are apparently a huge hit. And then i made devils food cupcakes w/ homemade chocolate icing. Then i dusted all the chocolate ones with powdered sugar and cocoa. And in one batch i put a teaspoon of hot cocoa to keep them awesomly moist, and in the other i put chocolate chips. So they have an awesome assortment of cupcakes. We have our fair share too. I made a total of 48 cupcakes, and took 24 over there. So we have quite a few still here. Just have to make sure they get eaten. We don't do sweets that much here anymore. We've been trying to eat healthier, and stuff that's good for our immune systems, especially after Ruben's stay in the hospital. Totally opened our eyes to all the things we needed to change.

Right now, i'm watching Pumpkin chunkin. TOTALLY AWESOME! People build all kinds of crazy machines to throw pumpkins super super far. Totally great entertainment.

Then i'm gonna try to straighten up the house a bit. It's a mess. I got the trash picked up earlier, and the mess of sunflower seed shells that had been spilled in the floor. Next i'm gonna refold all the laundry and take it to our bedroom, load the dishwasher, and put the little things back in place in the living room and kitchen. At least, after i get the little miss to get to sleep. She's about to drive me crazy with her attitude right now.

LATERS