too much going on

Right now, i swear there is too much going on. Too many things i'm trying to keep up with, and mostly all alone. My meds take care of a lot of the anxiety and stuff that i've got, but at the same time, it is still frustrating. Especially when i'm surprised by things. It's getting things done that need to be done, but still. It would have been nice to get some notice on it all. random knocks on my door are not kool, especially when i was about to lay down, and Desiree was just falling asleep, and the dog was quiet. now the dog is locked in the bathroom whining like crazy, and i just hope that she can stay quiet enough not to wake Desiree up. She's a grump when she doesn't get her nap out.

Then there is money BS. Having to make sure we have enough for the things we have going on, and orders we want to make, and still have enough for the bills and stuff. Sometimes it just feels very overwhelming. Every little bit we spend extra right now is pretty much coming out of christmas money. And to me, that's not kool. But whatever. We have to be careful, or we will be stuck in the same damn position we've been in the last couple years, where everyone else gets something awesome, and i get shit. So yeah. I need to keep a handle on things. But that means keeping a handle on my mania and ruben's spending. that night be easier said than done, but i guess it's up to me.

Then there are the plans for halloween. The week of the 24th we are doing haunt the zoo. The 29th we are going to trick or treat city. Then Halloween day we are going to go trick or treating with Rachel and Korben (as long as she's feeling up to it). Otherwise we might just hit our old neighborhood. no idea what's going on.

Sitting here waiting on the maintenence man to come back is irritating. It needs to get done before i gotta go get Ivy from school. And i have no idea how long it's gonna take. BLAH!

Stupid anxiety. Guess it's time for more valerian root. LATERS