Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
There are a lot of things with my family that make it a difficult situation sometimes. We get along for the most part now that i'm older and out of the house. But for the longest time when i was young we didn't get along.
My mom had a bit of a problem with OCD tendencies (Now, i'm not sure if she was actually OCD or not, and i'm not trying to downplay it with anything I say) But she was such a perfectionist. She had to have the towels folded a certain way, toys in a certain place, etc etc. And I was very impulsive, and cluttered, and artistic, and that clashed with the way she did things. And as I got a bit older and was discovering who I was, and what i wanted to be, and started questioning things we did and believed, we got into even more arguments. I never felt like I was good enough, and i never would be. And i think they either didn't know how they made me feel, or they just didn't show it or didn't care. They wanted me to be the person they had in their dreams, and were disappointed when I didn't go on to be that person.
But now they realize that I'm gonna do my own thing, and I'm gonna be my own person, and all that jazz. They still mention religion, or things they'd like to see, but usually only in passing. And I appreciate that. I hope they know how much I appreciate all they've ever done for me, and us. I think I was extreamly difficult as a child, and as a teenager. And I think then they didnt' know how to handle that. And instead of trying to work with them, every time they tried to do anything i just rebelled even more. Now though, especially since having the girls, I realize how diffiicult it is to be that PARENT, instead of their friend. Discipline is just as difficult for me as it is for the girls. And I realize how hard they tried. I love my family, and now that we are older and not living under the roof all the time we get along a heck of a lot better. :)
I miss my family something fierce sometimes. Especially lately, with all the MSish stuff going on, and how stressful life has gotten the last few weeks/ months. Sometimes it would be nice to just be able to drive across town and get a hug from my mama. But that's one of the things you have to deal with as an adult. Sometimes, you have to go it alone, without you're parents. I'm a big girl. I can handle it without them. It may be hard, and there are tears and stress, but it's life. And you gotta do what you gotta do.
And with my sister, of course, when we were little we were typical sisters. We'd fight one minute, and then be perfectly fine and playing the next. My sister and I are completley different people though. She is more of a social bug, always having someone around her or making plans to go do something with someone else, etc. Me, i can go for MONTHS without really getting out with someone other than Ruben and the girls and be just fine. Yeah, i enjoy company, but i don't NEED it like she seems to. Now that we are older, and both have kids and husbands and bills, we realize how much we need to be there for each other. We can sit and talk for HOURS about random BS. We cry together, and laugh together, and even stress out together, lol. But that's the way we need to be, and I love her more than I could ever say. :)
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