Trying to find the positive

Thought I'd start with something funny.  This made me crack up when I saw it the first time, so I thought I'd share the laugh with you. :) lol.

 

 

This is another song I'm falling in love with.  "As I'm with you, there's no place I'd rather be".  I love that.  And honestly, I know there are lot of places I'd rather be right now, heh.  But then again, who hasn't felt that way sometimes?  I'm homesick like crazy for where I grew up, and for friends down there.  But things just won't work out for us to go down there.  SOO, I'll just think about them while listening to music.

 

This has been a really bad pain day.  Doing my best to push through and keep a happy face on, but sometimes it gets really hard.  Just hope that things get better.  I think it's the weather change that's fucking with me, but IDK.  There are a lot of other things going on too, but I don't really wanna talk about them.  The people who need to know have already been told.  Just trust that I will be ok in the end.  I'm not ok yet, so it's not the end.  ya know?

 

 

What can I do

I'm addicted to you

 

I've fought addictions for a good portion of my adult life.  And it's an every day struggle sometimes to keep away from them.  I am seriously thankful for such amazing friends and family who support me in this constant battle.

 

I've been fighting the urges really bad the last few days.  Probably a combination of things causing it.  The weather making me hurt so bad, my MS, and life just being a pain.  But I keep fighting.  I keep saying no.  I do whatever I have to do to make it go away.  Just wish it were easier to do, ya know?  If you have any ideas please let me know.  I really could use all the help I could get.

 

 

I could be the one to make you feel that way.  I could be the one to set you free.

 

I wish I had someone who could just take it all away.  Someone who could make it all better with the snap of their fingers.  But life doesn't work that way.  I've learned that the hard way.  I've made some amazing friends, and I've lost some others too.  Sometimes it's hard to remember that things WILL get better as long as I keep fighting.  Thankfully I have friends there to help me remember that when I forget.  Seriously, without them I probably would have been dead YEARS ago.  So thank you all so very very much, from the bottom of my heart.  It really does mean the world to me.

 

I really wish this MS would chill out.  I could get a job and provide for us a little more so we weren't so broke all the time.  I HATE BEING BROKE all the time.  But I really can't work.  This MS keep me from it.  Just sucks that I don't qualify for any SSI So that we had some money coming in from my disability.  If anybody knows where to go to get some financial help, let me know.  I could really use it right now.

 

 

 

For now, I'm gonna sign off here and listen to some more music for a little while until time to get Ruben up and fix dinner.  BLAH, I don't feel like doing anything.

 

LATER TATER