People like us

I used to think I was alone in this fight. I used to think that I'd have to always fight alone. I used to believe that nothing would work. But then I met people dealing with the same things as me. I realized that sometimes the things we fear the most are never going to come to pass.  It's still a battle. It's still something I'm going to have to fight with, probably for the rest of my life.  It's something I'm going to have to learn to DEAL with instead of something that's going to magically be cured.  I won't wake up one day and the PTSD have magically disappeared, or the Bi-polar. It's something that I will have to learn to handle better, but it will never go away.

 

And you know what?  I'm ok with that.  I'm not alone. I know I have people backing me up, and I have friends that deal with the same things as me.  I am going to make it through this. I know it's going to be a fight. But like I've read before, you never know how strong you can be until being strong is the only thing you can do.  I'm starting to see that I'm a hell of a lot stronger than I ever imagined I was.

 

Yesterday was a bad day.  Every little thing was pissing me off. Every little thing was breaking my heart, of making me cry, or pushing me to a rage.  All extreme emotions that I couldn't get ahold of. I took it out on people around me, and I hate that that happens sometimes.  I know it will. I know it will end that way sometimes, and I'm just thankful that the people in my life know not to take it personally, because It breaks my heart to believe that it's hurting them too.

 

One of my new favorite songs (at least for now) is People Like Us by Kelly Clarkson.  Have a listen.

 



 

 

We are all misfits living in a world on fire.

Sing it for the people like us

the people like us

 

We should be getting our income tax today.  So we will start doing some serious shopping and house hunting.  Gonna be a good couple months. Gonna be CRAZY, but it's ok. We will get out of this apartment, we will have a working car, we will get a vacation together next month.  We will be able to make our bills without having to stress and pinch pennies.  It will be good.  I know it will be.

 

My next Red Rock appointment is the 17th.  Doubt we will change too much because, for the time being at least, the meds seem to be doing their jobs. It's sad to me that I'm on 3 different antidepressants right now, but you gotta do what you gotta do right?  Guess we will see what happens.

 

I hope everyone is doing well.

LATER TATER