Moodswings

Charlotte Church has this song called Moodswings. I LOVE THAT SONG. It pretty much describes me, lol. It starts off "Now first of all, i want to let you know that i've been known for some minor moodswings now and then" Well, mine are a little more than now and then, but whatever right? Still have the moodswings (well, duh, since i am a woman, lol) "it all started back when people were doing me wrong and because of my position i would hold my tounge for them" Dealing with the things that i've dealt with in my life, i have learned that sometimes the best thing to do is to hold your tounge and not say the things you want to say. Actually saying them usually causes more trouble then its worth, cause it causes a fight, or something like that. "bad relationships, and people i THOUGHT were friends, and people judging me before they get to know a thing" Enough said. That's pretty self explanitory, and if you know me, you know most of the stories behind all of it too. And if you are curious, just ask. Most of it, i don't mind telling. "if you decide to step to me, it shows me so clearly, that you just want to see, see the other side of me. And you don't know what i'm going through, and you might think it's all about you, but it's everything i've been going through. It's just bad timing to come at me like that." Right now, i'm becoming a better, happier, healthier me. I want to be someone that i actually like, instead of just doing what everyone around me wants me to do, and that's what my goals are. I know it's a long road ahead of me, and i know that i'm going to piss a lot of people off in the process, but here's the deal. I DO NOT CARE if you like me because of this or not. This is my life, i'm an adult, and i'm going to do what is best for me and my family, especially my daughters. I know that being unhappy is not healthy for my girls, and that's something that HAS to change. It's just not worth it to put my girls through that, and i refuse to do it any longer. So i'm going to be making time for ME a lot more, and going to be making time to spend with each one of them too. They deserve time with me, so i'm going to make it. So right now i'm going to get up and do a little more work on MY house, lol, and see what i can get done before Ruben wants up. I need to go to the store too to pick up some milk and something to go with chicken for dinner (probably just two pasta sides cause that's fast and easy, and about all we can afford right now). I want to get a bubble bath tonight, so gonna try to make time for that, and then i want to make sure to get a nap before Ruben goes to work, since i haven't really been sleeping enough the last few nights. Hopefully Desiree sleeps as well as she has been for a while. She has been going to bed about 8-8:30 and sleeping through until 7am. It's been nice, to say the least. Just gotta see what happens the next few night, lol. SO, i'm off. LATERS