apparently needing to write today, ugh

Feeling like my head is going to explode with so many things spiraling around in it. Now it's not about the things that i need to do. It's things from the past. Thinking about YEARS ago, when things were still happy. Before all the bad things started to happen. When we were still innocent. When we could spend hours out of the house, riding bikes, and exploring places that hadn't been built up yet, and not have to worry about what might happen. Back when we were testing bounderies, and discovering who we were. When we were happy just to play at a playground, or walk down a walking trail by the river. Back when we had dreams of being a model, or an actress, or whatever we wanted to be that day. Back when school wasn't so hard, and we didn't have to worry about rather or not we could remember what the answer to some random essay question was, and knowing that if the answer was wrong, and the score wasn't high enough, you'd have to take the class again. Back when Chuck E Cheese was awesome (not that it's not now, lol) and the movies was a treat. I was looking through pics earlier. pics that my sis had found from YEARS and YEARS ago. And remembering all the things we did at that age. Life was simple then. Sometimes i wish i could snap my fingers and go back to the time when things were so simple. Doesn't that sound like a dream? no responsibilities. No stress. Just simple. Joy in small things again. It does to me. especially with everything that's going on that i just can't bring myself to write about. I just wish i had someone to really talk to about it. Someone who wouldn't judge me. Someone who wouldn't get mad at me. Someone to just listen, and offer help when i asked for it. But life doesn't work that way i guess. For now, i'm gonna get off here and go play some Enslaved. See if i can get my mind to still for a few minutes at least. This damn manic state is wearing me out already, and it is only day one. This could be a LONG week/weekend.