I hate being so very wrong about things, and having to deal with the dissapointment when i am. Dissapointment sucks, no matter who you are. When it's just Ruben and I, it's not so horrible. We are adults. We get upset for a bit, then get over it and move on. BUT, when it's the kids that are getting dissapointed, it's next to impossible to deal with. At least this time we didn't tell them WHAT we were doing, just that we had something special planned.
I had spoken to another mother who had just purchased a science museum OK pass the other day about possibly getting in on her pass, not realizing that only those listed on the card can get in. And i'm sure she will refuse to let us use the guest passes, which sucks, but whatever. I've payed her way into the zoo, and split the zoofriends pass with her, but we can't use the guest passes you've already payed for? Just seems a bit hypocritical. Guess that's what i get for expecting any different. I mean, even though i've been here for 7 years now, i'm still the "new girl in town". People forget i exist until i contact them. Or that's all they do, talk to me online and ask for my advice. Just wish someone would return the fucking favor once in a while, ya know?
SOO, i had told Ruben about us getting to go to the science museum with the girls Saturday, and he changed his plans to go to the movies saturday to friday so we could go, and now i get to tell him it's not gonna happen and he didn't have to move it after all. AND we had told the girls we were gonna go do something special and exciting, and now we aren't. GREAT! Just fucking great. One more thing i have to let them down on. Seriously wishing i had payed attention when i was reading through the science museums webpage, cause it's there on the membership page. UGH! And then, when i was told it wouldn't cover, i started looking at the budget trying to see if i can move things around to cover a trip sometime soon, and realized just how deep in the shit we really are. It is so freaking frustrating. We do great, and we have everything budgeted out, and fixed, and figured out so it works smoothly, and then we go and blow it with stupid shit, and wonder at the end of the month why we are in the weeds. :( UGH! BLAH BLAH BLAH! I am seriously tired of this bullshit. Just wish, for once, that plans i make wouldn't fall through, or that friends would actually come through for ME every once and a while. Don't just try to give me advice, or tell me you are sorry that you couldn't make it to the last 10 things i invited you to. Actually make an effort to reach out to ME, and invite ME places. I'm seriously tired of feeling invisible. And up here, i do. This is one of those times i wish we were back in arkansas, with friends who gave a damn. If he could find a job like the one he has here down there, we would be set. Like, seriously set. But we've also come to love this city, and thinking about moving back down there, away from all the things we love, isn't an easy thought. I just hope that next year helps sate the moods we've been having. Getting to make trips down to arkansas, and being able to afford all the stuff we want to afford, will be a welcome change.
Having two working cars, and all the season passes we want to get (Which, after doing the math, will cost us right around 450 dollars, which we will be able to cover out of ONE MONTHS extra money. HELLS YEAH), will be nice for sure. Especially since one single day at each for all four of us would cost $205 all by itself. So if we went to each three times, it would MORE than pay for itself. So yeah. And we plan on making a trip to Arkansas at least once, if not twice, a month so Ruben can take lessons from Sifu and we can visit with friends. I have to be patient. Which, by the way, i totally suck at. It is just now July 20th, and we have to wait to get the income tax until at least halfway through january. SOO, that's 6 more months at least. UGH! At least they will be a busy busy six months.
Between birthdays and holidays and school, there will always be something going on. I'm honestly ready to start the busy period. Walking Ivy to and from school will be great exercise, and working with Desiree for school stuff will be great too. Getting her ready for school will be a full time job. She is so smart. I know she will pick things up super fast as long as i can focus on working with her.
Neway, i'm gonna get off my little box and go watch some more American Pickers and relax. I let myself get WAY too upset about the science museum, and now it's got me all dried out and teary eyed. Just gotta talk to Ruben and figure out what's going on for the weekend. Gotta find a way to make this weekend special, since i promised the girls i would. I know we can make it work.
LATERS
No comments:
Post a Comment