Sometimes i put on a smile and push through when all i want to do is curl up and cry. Life isn't bad, by any means. There are so many things to be thankful for. But at the same time, there are still a lot of things that hurt. Living in the city, so far away from those i'm closest to, can get very very lonely. I often find myself thinking about moving close to the city i grew up in so i could have people to be around more often. And then there are the times when people are online, and as soon as i send them a message they sign off. Now, that could just be that they weren't actually online in the first place, and sending the message signaled their chat to sign them off, but do you know how bad that feels?
And another thing that really hurts right now is one of my best friends and I used to talk, for at lesat 5 minutes, every single day. Another new friend of mine just had a baby, and they are together, and since she had the baby i don't even get a return text that often. We used to be able to talk for HOURS, and now i don't even get MINUTES. And that really sucks. He swore to me that i wasn't losing him, and yet that's how it feels. Seriously seriously difficult. And then when i do get a message or text, it's one word, or very cryptic. I don't care what you do with your life, just be honest with me. I know we have nothing, and that's great with me. Believe me, i'm glad you are there for her, but still. Don't forget me in the process.
Anyway, i need to get off here. Need to go back to bed before i pass out on the couch. Need to go cry a little. I'll survive. I always do. Just stress, and sick, and tired, and frustrated. I'm outta here. LATERS
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