Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
1 - I fear losing those I love. - So many times in my life things have happened that have made this fear more and more real. When I was younger, I knew of death, but hadn't really experienced it that much. Or if I did, it wasn't someone that I was super close to. Like my real grandpa on my mom's side: I'd never met him, didn't even really know his name. But then my grandpa had a heart attack in my living room, and had to have tripple bypass surgery. And my Great grandfather was diagnosed with cancer. And my great aunt died. And I realized that life is fragile. I had someone close to me kill himself. I lost some to other tragedies, and at a very early age. I'm so afraid that those i love - My friends and family - are going to be taken from me too soon. Some days, every time the phone rings, my heart is in my throat because i'm afraid it's gonna be a call about something bad happening to someone important to me.
2 - I fear rejection, in many different aspects of my life - I fear being rejected when trying to make new friends, constantly feeling like they think i'm weird, or not good enough, or crazy, etc. I fear being rejected in any new project i try to do, like starting my own business, or applying for new jobs, or even going to school for something i want. I fear saying something and being "kicked out" - in a sense. Kicked out of a group, or a friendship, or something like that. I've always had a hard time with that. Even though rejection is a part of life, and it's a way for the higher powers to lead us where we are supposed to go, it breaks my heart every time i hear NO, or some variation of it. And i hate that feeling, so i fear it.
3 - I fear dying young - This, i believe, is my biggest fear right now. The last little while, i've had a lot of physical problems. Some i've told people about, and some i haven't. Some of the scare the hell out of me, so i keep them quiet. Mainly because I'm not sure if it's something to actually worry about or not. And because i can't afford to go to the doctor and get the tests done that i need done, etc. I have had heart palpitations, and chest pain. I've had trouble breathing when i do something simple, like walking to the bathroom and back from my bed and then laying back down. And now i've got numbness from the waist down, which could be MS (which i'd be ok with, because it's not so much life-threatening as it is life-changing) But it could mean any number of things. It's kind of an irrational, and i know it is. But i am terrified that it's something more, and i don't know about it, and i won't find out about it until it's too late, and i'll leave everyone i love behind. And that's a scary though. Seriously.
BUT, I am thankful for the fact that i am still alive. Given my past, that, in itself, is a mirracle.
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