03-what is the main thing that builds and boosts your self-confidence and why?
When i feel good about myself. When I wake up, and i look in the mirror, and i see how beautiful I actually am. Instead of all the little BS that i seem to always see. When I wake up, and my daughters tell me how beautiful I am. And my husband tells me the same -<(:)>- -<(:)>- -<(:)>- -<(:)>- -<(:)>-
thing. And I know it's sad that I have to find that self confidence from outside sources. But right now, with everything going on, i have a hard time feeling self-confident at all. Being numb from the waist down kinda screwed up the beauty i felt. But having great friends and family by my side, telling me how strong and beautiful I am. That really helps. Probably because they are my voice of reason, if you will. They see things that I hide from myself, or that are blocked by something pretty insignificant. And then when I get out, and find a comfort spot, if you will.... Then I can feel the confidence boost. When the room seems to open up to me, and people are smiling and happy to be around me. When I can be myself and not have anybody judge me for it. That's when i can really feel my confidence start to grow.
- Example - Game wars weekend last weekend (not this past sat, but the sat before) When we went out to the hotel for a few hours and hung around the gamers. Played games, went swimming, and just enjoyed the company. That group i feel very self-confident in. Maybe cause there are so few female gamers and you get all kinds of attention, lol. The OMG, that's awesome. Or it's because we've known each other for quite a while. I can walk into a room full of these gamers, and have a conversation with them like we saw each other just yesterday. It's a good feeling. :)
-<(:)>- -<(:)>- -<(:)>- -<(:)>- -<(:)>-
04-If you could do something without anyone else knowing that you did it, what would you do and why?
Truth be told - I'd donate a lot of food or money to the local charities for the homeless. Or i'd fix up some of these old abandoned apartment complexes. Maybe not feed it electricity, but seal it against the weather. Fix broken windows and leaky roofs. Make it so they can get in out of the cold or the heat and have a covered place to sleep. Or even set it up so that they can actually live there, rent free, as long as they needed. Give them at least two meals a day, and a place to wash their clothes and take a shower. If I could do that, i wouldn't care about recognition. I would be happy to see those who are far less fortunate than I living better lives, instead of sleeping on concrete outside, or on metal benches. That's what I'd do. That would be such a blessing to this neighborhood, to this city. And if I could, i'd do it nationwide. Give the homeless HOPE. And sometimes, that's all it takes for them to get up and get back on their feet.
We have had some pretty hard times. But through it all, the help of friends and family kept us going. The thought that some people don't even have that breaks my heart. Yeah, we had to sleep in kitchens and on couches. We had to shove three people into one room. BUT, we always had a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and food in our stomachs. There are so many in this nation that don't have the same courtesy. They go for days between meals. Their clothes are too small, or filthy, or falling apart. They have no roof, no place to call home. They live their lives out in the harsh reality. I wish I could do far more for them.
-<(:)>- -<(:)>- -<(:)>- -<(:)>- -<(:)>-
Part 2 of #49 - I am greatful for the things in my life that we take for granted sometimes. For three square meals a day. For clean clothes to wear, and a roof over our heads. For the ability to fall asleep in safety, and wake up in privacy. I am thankful for the use of the computer and the phone, and for the TV to keep us all occupied. Things we take for granted on a daily basis. For central heat and air on a hot or cold day.
-<(:)>- -<(:)>- -<(:)>- -<(:)>- -<(:)>-
Mania seriously sucks. My brain is going a billion miles an hour, and I can't seem to catch the majority of what's beating around up there. I know that I'm stressing a bit, but not horribly. Not yet anyway. I know I'm bored, and having a hard time keeping things that keep my interest. I know i'm tired of summer and this aweful heat (even though it's nowhere near as bad as last summer) for a couple reasons. The car still doesn't have AC, the girls can't take the heat that well, and it makes the MS symptoms worse. I know i'm tired of having all this stuff going wrong with my body and not being able to find out what's going on. I know i'm going to sound crazy when I finally do get to go to the doctor and start describing the myriad list of symptoms i've had going on for the last little while. I just hope he doesn't label me as hypocondriac and send me home with nothing. I guess we will see though
Gonna write some letters now. Just little things I want to say to people that I don't get to see often enough to say to them in person.
Dear Dad : Thank you so much for your help this month. I know things are just as hard for you as they are for us, and it means a lot that you were able to help so much.
Dear Mom: I hope your surgery goes well tomorrow. I hope you or Whitney can call me and let me know everything went well so I don't freak out too much.
Dear Daniel: Thank you for helping us out financially the last little while. For helping us pay such a large sum not long ago, and for helping with gas money this week. It means a lot that you're doing that.
Dear Whitney: I miss you guys something fierce. Thank you for posting all those pics of you and Nick and the girls. Tell them I love them, and I can't wait to see them again.
Dear Cassie: YAYA! :) I miss you something fierce! Wish we could afford to come visit. We will make a visit for sure after income tax when we can have a good working car. I can't wait to see you again. You manage to keep me sane when everything goes crazy, lol. :)
Dear Ashley: I know we don't talk much, but you're still an awesome friend. Even though it had been such a long time, we picked back up like it was yesterday. I'm confident that will happen again.
Dear Misty: I hope your surgeries go well! I'm so happy that things are finally working themselves out after so long. I can't wait to get a chance to visit and see you again IN PERSON!
Dear Loren: Thank you for being there to listen to me bitch when everything is going wrong. I know I can be a pain in the butt sometimes, but you are able to keep me grounded, and that is such a huge blessing
Dear Ruben: I know things are crazy right now, but know that no matter what happens I'm here to fight this battle with you. I thank you so much for all the things you do for the girls and I. Keep your head up and keep fighting. We will make it through this. :)
Dear Ivy: You are growing into such an amazing young woman; Helping around the house, keeping your sister occupied, and just being a wonderful daughter. I LOVE YOU! Never forget that.
Dear Desiree; Watching you grow and learn is such a blessing. You amaze me every day with the things you know. Things I didn't even know you'd seen, and you come in and tell me all about them. And I love to listen. I'm always here for you, and I love you too! :)
And i think that's good enough for tonight. I need to get my happy butt to bed. I should have been asleep an hour ago. But i apparently needed to write this whole thing out. It helped me relax. LATERS
No comments:
Post a Comment