Got some heartbreaking news this morning. A friend of mine in another state lost her father this morning. He'd been fighting a battle for a long time now, and they knew it was gonna happen, but it's never EXPECTED to lose a framily member. I know she's handling it better than I would be. The thought of that just makes my chest go tight and me tear up. I love my parents, despite all the craziness that is the people they are, and the thought of losing them is so hard to handle.
So it really got me thinking. About a lot of things really. About that fact that we always make excuses to put things off. About how sometimes we don't take advantage of getting to spend time with friends when the times come around. Procrastinating about things we've always wanted to do. But we aren't thinking about the fact that tomorrow isn't guarenteed to anybody, so we really need to make the most of the here and now. I know I'm gonna do my best to start doing things, no matter how hard or crazy they may seem, if it's something I've really wanted to do.
Time to get over fears - Like the fear of hights by going on the skybridge rope course thing down by the river. Fear of the car by actually spending more time riding in the passanger seat instead of always having to be in control. Fear of getting dirty and actually going out and going for a hike around Draper Lake or somewhere like that. Fear of the kids getting hurt and actually take them to the park more often (considering there are a few really awesome ones not very far from where we live). Just things like that. It's not worth sitting in the living room hiding from the world all the time.
And actually spending time making new friends, and making the friendships I have now stronger. There are people in the apartment complex who have reached out to try to talk to me and get to know me, and I always just say enough to get through the conversation before I run to go do something else (usually hide in the house). It really is sad that i have closer friends online who I have never actually seen IRL, ya know? (I LOVE YOU GUYS! - that's not a complaint, just a HUH moment)
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SOOOO, I'm setting some reachable goals
I'm gonna make it a point to spend time with friends over the summer instead of staying cooped up in the house all the time. Make it a point to go to the zoo, or go swimming, or to the park, or something like that. Maybe even have a couple "parties" at the house with more of them. :)
I'm going to make it a point to spend more quality time with my girlies. Playing the wii in the living room, or the xbox. Playing board games. Doing art projects. Going for walks, or to the park, or something like that. Just showing them how much I truly love them! Because sometimes we get so wrapped up in the little things in our lives that we forget to say I Love You enough.
I'm going to spend some time taking pictures. Of the city. Of my family. Of our friends. And I'm going to get them printed and put them in a scrapbook so I can pass them on to my girlies when the time comes. And it's always fun to make memories to take pictures of.
I'm going to start writing friends more often. Like, actual handwritten letters. Not just an email, or comment, or message online. While those are better than nothing, actually having something to hold in your hands is such a huge thing sometimes.
I'm gonna try new things. New foods, new places, new games. You can't find new things you love if you're too afraid to try new things, ya know? SOOO, any new recipes that you love, or places you love to visit, or books to read, etc etc please let me know about!
Gonna fight through the pain and weakness and actually get more active. There are countless stories of people who have gone through far worse, and come out the other side stronger and happier. And I want that to be me. :)
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I just want you all to know how much I LOVE YOU.
I love you for who you are, just as you are. Don't have to be anything more, or less, than you are right at this moment. You are perfect just as you are.
Prayers go out to those going through difficult times. May tomorrow always be better than today. And may the difficult days show you all the love in your life.
LYZ
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