thinking

Thinking too much

about too much

And there's not a lot I can do about any of it.

But whatever, heh.  My brain goes too fast sometimes, and it's really hard to catch the thoughts racing around up there.  Between stressing over money, worrying about people, missing people like mad, etc There is always something racing around up there that I can't keep ahold of.

you guys ever felt that way?

Like you were out of control of your own brains?

Cause I feel that way a LOT lately.

A LOT

This week is gonna be BUSY busy.
Not that it's a bad thing.
I'd rather be busy than bored.
I get in trouble when I'm bored.

All I want right now is to be able to let it go

Let the stress and fear and anxiety go

Tomorrow, come hell or high water I've gotta have Ruben call and set up Desi's shots.  i HAVE to get them done or she can't start school this year.  Cause if she doesn't start school, I have to homeschool her of I get in trouble, and honestly I can't homeschool her.  I don't have the patience, or the abillity to keep up with them for an entire day without losing my temper because I'm hurting or exhausted.  So we HAVE to get it taken care of.  And Hopefully we can get things taken care of so that her appointment will be in the afternoon, because my mornings are gonna be BUSY busy.

Wednesday I'm going to go clean for a friend.  Been cleaning for him for a while, so I know how to get it done pretty quick.  And hey, it's a quick $20, ya know?

Thursday is payday, so We will cash his check and run our errands, and see what happens.  Doubt we will do TOO much else other than that though. 

Then Friday I'm going out to another friends house to help him clean for a birthday party that's going on Saturday.  Never been out there, so It'll be interesting trying to find it, heh.  And it's CLEAN ACROSS TOWN, so it'll be all interstate, but take longer than it normally takes me to get places.  Not a huge deal either way truly.  And it's an extra $30.  Gonna use the money I'm making to save up to go to Frontier City. So it'll be worth it all.

Saturday is OKC wars.  Gonna try to get there early so the girls and I can eat breakfast there, and then go swimming with a couple friends.  And then I will come home and get Ruben so we can go back for the game day. :)  No idea what we will be playing, but it'll be fun. It's always nice to get to hang out with friends.

Honestly, I hope once the girls start school I can make time to hang out with people again.  Or at least find something that I like to do - just me.  Not what I'm doing for other people to make them happy.  I need to find MY happiness again, ya know?  It's been so long since I've been able to do something for myself.  I just hope that I can make it something fun.  Any of you have any good ideas?

I've got some writting to do.  Some ideas that I need to get down on paper and see what happens. Might try to get published again.  It's nice to see things in print that you've written.

I'm super excited about the prospect that a few friends are gonna get tattoos of things that I've drawn for them.  I just hope they send me pics of what they look like when they are done. :)  That could be AWESOME!  Just have to see what happens though.

For now, I'm gonna get off the comp and go find something to keep myself occupied.  Racing brain is giving me a headache, so I need to get focused on something and make it quit.

LOVE YOU GUYS

LYZ