Very emotional

This week is a very emotional week for me.  And it's kinda for a stupid reason.  I mean, it's nothing SERIOUS, but it's just something that makes me emotional.

I've never been good with my routine changing.  It's something I've dealt with my whole life.  When things have been the same way for so long, for them to make a drastic change is really hard to handle.

This week is one of those weeks.

Ruben is working Friday night for one of his coworkers.  It'll be all overtime, which will be good.  We can use the extra money (although, we won't actually get that much extra BECAUSE - He's getting to take the next Thursday off!  HORRAY for a three day weekend).  BUT, what that means for this week is that I won't get my Friday night with Ruben sleeping next to me.  I won't get my Friday day with Ruben, or my Saturday day with him either.  So I'm losing both my days, and my one night, this week.  :(  Has me super emotional truthfully. 

Then he's missing the fourth of July again because he has to work.  And I'm gonna be over at his mom and dads house for a while so the girls can play in the pool, we can grill out, and they can set off spraklers and stuff like that.  Won't be the end of the world, but still.  UGH! 

Then Saturday, while Ruben is sleeping, his mom, dad, brother, the girls, and I are taking a trip out to Geary Oklahoma for his family reunion.  I don't know anybody out there, so I'm gonna be a nervous wreck.  Gonna see about getting something for my anxiety, otherwise I'm gonna be a mess.  Driving that far, with all of us shoved in my car, without Ruben.  I'm just not sure how I'm gonna handle it.  Gonna be sure to get some good music, haha. 

So I'm gonna be stuck spending three days with his family this week, and not one with Ruben.  Yeah, super emotional about that.  

And to be completely honest - I've been thinking about drinking a bit.  Or even pulling my blades out.  I've been doing really good.  And I'm actually saying it out loud (well, kinda.  I'm writing about it at least)  It's out there.  I'm admitting it to people.  I'm doing the best I can to fight it, but it's getting harder and harder as the time goes on this week.  And it's not even Wednesday!  Go figure huh?

BUT, It will all be worth it, because I'll get THREE days with Ruben next week.  I just have to make it through the next 8 days.  UGH!

<(:)><(:)><(:)>

Ok, moving on.

Sunday was the last day working for the family on base.  They are moving to Alaska.  I'm excited for them.  I really am.  It'll be another pen pal for me.  But at the same time, It means I'm losing $100 a month.  That's a lot of money to be losing, so we are having to make sure to stick to the squeeky budget super super tight.  So I guess we will see what happens.  MAYBE I can get some more work out there.  And now with a working car I can look for other jobs around the area that are a bit further away.  So we will see.

<(:)><(:)><(:)>

I've been trying ot keep myself upbeat.  Thinking good thoughts, listening to good music, watching my favorite shows and movies.  Just keeping myself distracted.

Bout to start drawing or something.  Might take a nap.  IDK, just something to help me be distracted. For now, i'm gonna get off the comp and maybe try to take a nap for a few hours before I have to get dinner ready.

LATERS!