#2 - your first love - plus other stuffs, haha.

My first love?

Wow, that's a tough question.

Love was always something that I wasn't quite sure about.  Even in high school when I was old enough to really start understanding emotions, that was one I was always unsure about.  Maybe it was because "Love" at home was one way, and I always saw other peopl with a different type of love.  Maybe it was because I just had a hard time with emotions as a whole, so that was just another mystery to me.  I really don't know. 

What I do know is that the first person I REALLY loved (or at least that I THOUGHT I loved) was another guy in the congregation I grew up in.  He had amazing red hair, Was just a couple years older than I was.  And I just loved the way he handled himself in everything he did. 

The sad part was, he barely noticed me, haha.  We didn't get a chance to hang out all that often, and when we did I was too damn shy to really do anything about it.  The few times I did we were in HUGE groups, and there was always something else that would catch his attention.

Ya know what though, that's really ok.  He went on to marry an amazing girl, and have some amazing kids.  I went on to marry Ruben, and we have our two beautiful little girls.  And none of that would have happened had we become more than just friends.  I found out that he had cancer too. :( Breaks my heart, because he really is an amazing guy.  I haven't heard anything about him in a while, so I have no idea how he's doing, or even if he's still fighting or not.  But I know, without a doubt, that we ended up where we were supposed to be.  Maybe not where I WANTED us to be, haha.  But where we needed to be, and that's what matters in the long run, right?

<(:)><(:)><(:)>

The girls had an awesome first day of school, and came home talking about everything they did the first day.  Helped put my mind at ease.  Thank goodness for small blessings, haha.

And today - the second day of school - seems to have gone just as well.  Although Desi bout made me cry this morning.  She asked if she could walk herself to her class today, without me.  Yeah, that was hard for me to hear.  Haha.  I walked her to the hall and made sure she knew where her class was anyway (more for me than her, lol)  I'm not sure I'm ready for her to walk herself in yet.  :(  But I know she can do it.  She went straight to her class this morning, no problem.  And I think as long as Ivy shows her to the hallway (which is right before her class) that she will be fine.  I just don't know though, haha.  With Ivy, she had me walk her to class EVERY SINGLE DAY of her first year of school, and even for the majoiry of the second year of school.  Desi - second day.  WTF?  I know they are completely different kids, but come on.  That's just not fair, haha.  Oh well.  They are growing up too damn fast.

I got to help a friend today, which felt really good.  Paying it forward.  He had knee surgery not too long ago, and has to stay off it as long as possible so it will heal up right.  And he'd moved a couple weeks ago. So I went over today to help him unpack some stuffs.  We started in his office, and actually got rid of the VAST majoirty of the boxes in there. :) And even cleaned off a lot of the boxes from the front entryway thing he has there.  So that felt good.  Spent 4 hours over there, which was nice.  Got to talk, and hang out, and help a friend.  I truly can't complain.  :)  And I'm gonna go back next week some time and help him get the front area cleaned up completely ( I think, lol - just have to see)  So that feels really good.

We had pest control today - so my kitchen is completely torn apart, haha.  Well, not completely, but everything is in the game area.  SOOO, tomorrow I'll be getting it all put back up.  Ruben will be able to help some, so that'll be a good thing.  Get it all put up and cleaned up and all that jazz.  Shouldn't take TOO long, as long as we can get in there and work together right.  Maybe even start cleaning things out, cause we really have too much stuff, and I just need to get rid of some of it. 

Thursday is payday - so we will get out after dropping the girls off at school and get our errands run.  Then come home and he will go to bed.  HOPEFULLY I'll feel up to getting some deep cleaning done around the house.  I wanna find my craft closet again, so I know what I've got, and what I can get rid of, and all that jazz.  Although, I'll probably start with the girls bedroom.  Get their room done up right, so they can keep it spotless during the school year.  Gonna get rid of a BUNCH of their mcdonalds toys and stuff like that.  Trust me, they don't need them, haha.  And then try to organize the smaller toys they have into something so they know where it all is.  Lots of LPS and MLP accessories - which I'm pretty sure they don't even really touch, haha.  But whatever.  Not gonna get rid of them until we start to get rid of the toys they go with, ya know?  No point in trying to get rid of them without the toys they belong to.  SOOO, just gotta get them better organized.

Friday is gonna be a "Date Day" for Ruben and I.  It'll be the first Friday with the girls in school, so we will have a full school day to hang out.  Might play games, or go out to eat, or go to a movie, or something like that.  No idea what we are actually gonna do, but it'll be nice to get to spend some good quality time together, ya know? 

Hopefull we will actually have some extra money, cause it's looking like Ruben locked the keys in the trunk of the car this morning, so he's having to call a locksmith to have them come pop the lock so he can get them back out.  Frustrating, but whatever.  Gotta do what ya gotta do right?  And it's ok because I'll make a little extra money next week helping a friend unpack some more, so it shouldn't be a problem, heh.  Guess we will find out huh?  And hell, I've got money i can move around if we HAVE to, so I'm not worried. :)

 

Anyway, I'm out of here for a while.  LATERS!