Mind is going too fast to catch

Between the lovely MS symptoms (which is what I'm assuming it is, and trying not to freak out) to the weather changing every two seconds, to planning for Spring Break, I'm exhausted.

 

And my brain is going too darn fast to catch

 

And listening to music probably doesn't help.  The song by Lea Michele in memory of Cory has my mind going to very dark places.  It makes me miss certain people who left this life too soon.  And I wish I could tell them how much it hurts.  If you haven't heard it yet, here it is:

 



 

It's sad, but it certainly hits a nerve with me. If you've been around me for any length of time, I bet you understand too.  But I just thought I'd share that with you.

 

This latest symptom is exhausting.  It's a "wave" that hits my whole body.  It starts in my head, and I can feel it coming and cant stop it.  It makes my eyes go WAY double vision split, then makes my throat kinda close up and my tongue go numb (and I can't speak for a few seconds after it happens and it make sense) and then it "waves" down my body, making my arms and legs go weak before it finally goes away.  And it's RANDOM AS HELL.  I'll be fine one minute, and then next it hits, and then I'm fine again.  Sometimes it hits once and doesn't happen again for hours, and other times it happens back to back for hours on end.  BLAH!  I just want to feel normal.

 

Anyway, It's just scary.

 

I need to get ahold of the SSA and find out about disability insurance.  Not sure I'll qualify or not, but it can't hurt to ask right?  If not, we need to look into some cheap insurance for me so I can actually get to a damn doctor!  This is frustrating, and exhausting, and most days I just wanna give up.

 

And then I need to get ahold of the doctor who does my birth control too.  I've heard the same things every time I've called.  "Let me check into it and i'll call you back" - but they NEVER CALL BACK!  So I'll call AGAIN tomorrow and HOPEFULLY get a damn answer.  Cause honestly, if I don't hear something from them soon, I'm gonna just try to go to the health department and get it done there.  I've waited OVER A MONTH for them to figure it out, and we can't really afford to wait anymore!  BLAH!

 

Anyway, I'm gonna go curl up for a bit until time to get Ruben up and make dinner.
LATERS