This life has been HARD with this MS flare. Between not being able to see, not being able to drive, and not being able to do most everything I usually do, I've had thoughts about just giving up and sleeping until it's over. Has anybody else every felt that way? I mean, I don't because there are far too many things that I need to stay involved in. But doesn't mean the thought hasn't crossed my mind.
Life around this whole place has been hard as hell, but we make it work. Thanks to the help and support of friends and family, and even a few people that I don't even know. Mind you, I still fight the urges for the things I used to do when things started to get bad. Blades, bottle, pills - all things I used to do to numb out this feeling. But I've been good (at least for a little while). I'm not afraid to ask for help anymore. I'd rather people judge me for things I did in the past, but don't do anymore, than to do them in secret and put on a pretty face for the world to see. That's gotten me in more trouble than anything else. So now, I ask for help from people - usually from someone I KNOW won't judge me. And I like to think I'm doing pretty darn good. I guess it's true what they say - You're a recovering addict forever, heh.
Took my dose of Avonex on Friday afternoon about 3:40ish. And a few things I realize from this dose, lol. 1: Don't take the dose in the afternoon and try to sleep through the peak - cause honestly the stuff I USUALLY sleep through is MUCH WORSE. I can handle the "Peak" in the evenings much better than the stuff I dealt with yesterday. 2: The Avonex pen is MUCH better, lol. MUCH smaller needle, and you don't have to see it before you inject. Just after.. 3: It will be much more convenient cause it's got a cap that you can put on it that keeps it safe - so you can inject while you're out if you have to and carry it around in your purse and not have to worry about getting poked by the needle. And I don't have to worry about the girls getting into it and poking themselves.
But I'm excited for summer still. Getting to go swimming, go for more walks, and not have to get up early to take the girls to school. lol. I know, silly reasons to look forward to summer, but they are my reasons. :) So yeah, we are CLOSE to summer vacation. I've gotta find a few things to make for the girls teachers, cause they really want to. Thinking about doing handprints with stuff written on them, or letting them paint something that the teachers can hang up in their classrooms. IDK, guess we will figure it out. Just a couple weeks to go. :) Any ideas?
One of my favorite songs right now is Let Her Go by the passangers. And this girls version is really pretty. Have a listen!
And another one of my new favorite songs is Battleships by Daughtry. Seriously, it's really awesome! You should check it out too.
Ok, gonna get out of here.
HOPE EVERYONE HAS AN AWESOME WEEKEND!
LOVE YOU ALL
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