Sometimes i wonder

Sometimes i wonder why i bother dealing with some of the things that i deal with.
Sometimes i wonder why i let others make decisions for me
Sometimes i wonder why i don't enjoy my life a little more
Sometimes i wonder why i quit doing things that make me happy
Just to keep someone else happy instead
I have realized that i have lost a lot of who i used to be
I realized that sometimes i just put on an act to keep people happy
It's frustrating to realize that, because i want so badly to be happy with myself
I think the thing that i don't understand is why everyone looks down
on the things that make me happy.
Yes, i like to drink, yes, i do other crazy things
But they make me happy, they make me enjoy life a little more
Instead of hiding behind the safe, sane me
I want to be able to be crazy again
I want to be able to feel free, and happy.
I don't know if i will ever be able to make people see that
They all view these things as a problem
That they are "holding me back" from the good things
Which is totally not the truth, and i want them to see that.

So sometime this weekend or so i'm going to have a little fun
Come hell or high water i'm going to be able to enjoy something
I want to go to the movies, i want to have a drink or two
I want to get to do something different, and fun
So blah, blah, blah. I need to get off my ass and clean
and get dinner done, and then get Ruben up
And at some point i need to show him what i got for Ivy's party.

LATERS
LYZ