It is so hard to believe that this time last year i was up at the hospital just after having Desiree. I can't believe that this last year has flown by so freaking fast. It is even more difficult to believe that i have been out of work for even longer. It doesn't seem like it's already been a year. I hate how fast it's gone. At least with the camera's i've been able to get some good pics of the girls and have an actual record of this last year. I plan on getting some good pics of Desiree today. We are doing cupcakes today and she's going to get her own cupcake to eat and make a mess with, lol. I have to take a moment and step back and remember that things wash out. It's just insane to me. Being able to be home with Desiree has been really nice. I didn't get to do that with Ivy before, so getting to do that this last year has been beautiful.
I'm trying to lose a little weight and tone up a bit. It's not really that easy, especially when i am at home without Ivy around. I sit a lot and snack and do nothing much besides watch tv and play on the computer. It's boring, and it's exausting. I knew it was going to be hard, but i didn't realize it would be this hard. Crazy, really crazy. But whatever. I'm sure that eventually my body will go back to the way it was. the only thing i want to get rid of sooner is my stomach and the fat under my chin. So whatever, hopefully i can figure it out soon. I am going to start taking something to help with the weightloss. I know that i can do it, but i want to do it faster. As soon as i have a little extra money i'm going to go buy some hydroxycut o something like that to help burn that fat off a little faster. It's so dissapointing to work so hard and not be able to lose enough. I work and work and work and can't lose the weight or the inches. It's mainly the inches that i want to lose the most. If i could lose the inches around my stomach, i would be so freaking happy. I want to be back down where i was before, but i know that so many people would be pissed off at me if i got that small again. I was 95 lbs for the longest time, and i really really liked being that weight. It's almost to a point that i've caught myself skipping meals and exercising double about once a week. I have to stop that and do it the right way. I know that if i buckle down and do it the right way it might take a little longer, but it will be the right way, and it will last a lot longer. So hopefully it's just going to work ok. We shall see what happens.
When Ruben gets paid again a week from tomorrow a vast majority of that check have to go to Ivy's birthday. I just hope to have something left. It's boring when i don't get to do something at least one weekend. I have to set back something, or i'm going to go freaking crazy.
Right now i need to get off my butt and get the rest of the cupcakes finished cause in about an hour i need to start getting ready to get ivy from school. Hopefully she has a good day today. And i hope that Ruben doesn't fight me too hard to get out of bed this afternoon so we can get over there and get this over with before Desiree needs to be in bed. We shall see though. Hopefuly it all works out without too much drama. GOD I HATE DRAMA!
So right now i need to get up and get shit done, so i will have to leave you now.
LYZ
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