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It is SO frustrating right now. I bust ass all year, and it's nice around christmas time to get something back in return. This year, it's not going to happen. And that really really sucks. I spent damn near 60 bucks on ruben for christmas. The girls got almost 30 a piece, and the inlaws so far have gotten about 15 a piece, but it looks like i'm going to only get 2-3 small things myself. That really sucks. i was looking forward to this year, even though we wouldn't be able to get that much really because of all the unexpected expenses we had, but christmas was supposed to be the bright shining spot in the middle of all the stressful bs going on. Instead, we had another last minute unexpected expense. The car lot we got the car from was supposed to cover our TTL for us. ALL of it. Instead the money that was supposed to be for me had to get spent on the car. UGH, make it go away. I swear, if anything else goes wrong, i'm going to buy a fucking bottle and drown myself with it. Drink myself numb for a while.

At least the girls got a few good things. That's what's important to me. They deserve it.

There is so much that needs to happen. The house needs to be cleaned up, and all that shit. I just don't feel like doing any of it right now. All i feel like doing is curling up and crying for a while. I hate PMS, i hate stress, and i know that there really isn't anything i can do about most of the things i'm stressed about. just make it go away.

Neway, i'm going to get out of here before i start talking about things people don't need to hear.

LYZ