always a time and a place for everything

It would just be nice if everything were in its place, ya know? There is so much that has been going on, and with us moving, i can rarely find the things i need to find. I need to finish putting the clothes up. There is still quite a bit left to do. And because i was sick earlier this week, and i'm still not feeling too great, my house is a disaster. I want to have it done before tomorrow. I want the next couple days to be completely stress free. Ruben has Sunday and Monday off, so that will allow us to actually get to spend time together. I'm so tired of not getting to see him.

The last few nights i've been having my nightmares again. It's hard to believe that happened 4 years ago. I swear, i can still feel it today. I know the marks have been gone for a long time now, but i can swear i can still see them, and i can still smell everything like it is right here in the room with me. It's exausting. i haven't been sleeping well, haven't been eating well, and i can tell too. I physically feel more blah than normal, if that makes any sense at all.

So i've been dealing with more stress than normal, worrying about money even more than normal, and just PRAYING that we can make ends meet until we get my settlement, and that my settlement is at least enough to cover what needs to be covered. It would be nice to have that stress go away. I have so much i need to do, and i jsut don't want to really do any of it. I need to clean, i need to call the lawyer, i need to call SMC and cancel for now, and i need to get some job hunting done soon. I have less than a month to really find a job and start working. There is just too much that needs to happen right now. BLAH, i hate this kind of stress. I just hope things start to balance out soon.

Right now i'm watching Ruben play bayanetta (sp?) which is kinda cool looking. I'm about to straighten up the living room and pull the clothes that are left to put up in here and sort through them, and then i'm going to get them put up. Then i'm going to get in there and straighten up Ivy's room and the big bathroom, then the kitchen, and finally, once Desiree wakes up, our bedroom. I'm sick and fucking tired of the house looking like shit. And, to be honest, i'm sick and tired of being the only person who REALLY cleans the house. It's frustrating. So HOPEFULLY i can get it done today. Caffine is going to be a good friend today, lol. Thank goodness i'm a bit manic still. I definently need that extra energy to get shit done today.

LATERS
LYZ