I find myself stuck in another manic state. And mine aren't the run of the mill, textbook manic states. Mine are a mix of all kinds of emotions, racing thoughts, physically going until my body just can't take it anymore, sleeping for a couple hours, and doing it all again. I will do this for at lesat a couple days, sometimes as long as a week. And then i will CRASH. I'll sleep for a week, and never feel rested. I'll sit around and do nothing, and veg out, causing myself to gain weight, and then feel horrible because i'm right back where i started. I know it's coming, and i can do NOTHING to stop it, which i think frustrates me the most.
Yesterday and Today were difficult in the mornings. Mainly because Ivy is having a hard time adjusting again to going to school here. She cried all the way to school yesterday before taking 5 full minutes to walk up the sidewalk and into class. Today was even worse. She balled her eyes out all the way there, and damn near refused to walk in the door unless i walked her into class. I can't do that some mornings. I do good just to make it to the front door of the school, and trying to walk to the classroom is just too much. So after holding her for a minute, she finally went in. The frustrating thing is that she is so difficult in the mornings, but comes home having had a WONDERFUL day. I wish there were some way to make the mornings less difficult. Smooth them out a bit, and we'd be great. But sometimes that's easier said than done.
I'm so anxious and excited waiting for our income tax return and my medical settlement. The plans we have are great, and i just hope that they work themselves out for us so that the year is the way we want it to be.
The main things that are happening are:
*Getting a new car - probably a mustang, possibly a GT (if we can find one in our price range)
*Getting the car we have now paid off, and fixed.
*Getting my glasses replaced (it's been YEARS now)
*Paying for a lifetime pass for Ivy's MMO game she plays, Jumpstart.com
*Paying the car insurance, gamefly, and netflix off for a year.
And that's all out of our income tax return (hopefully it works out that way at least) And then with my medical settlement (as long as it is as much as we think it's gonna be) we are going to pay our cable bill for a year.
All in all, that would leave us with around 300 dollars a month extra, maybe more. That would allow us to take care of some of the things we like to do during the months taken care of. Buying new games, clothes, and other things without worry if we will have enough money for car gas or food on the table. I guess we will see what happens. I just hope it happens soon. Hopefully Ruben gets his W2 with his next paycheck (the 13th) and we can get in and get it filed and hopefully have it back within the week. And as far as the medical settlement goes, i'm not sure what's going on with that. He called the 21st to let me know about the offer, and that we needed to accept because it's not worth the risk, and then said he was making a few more phone calls, trying to get bills lowered, and then we'd hear from him again. AND of course, we haven't heard from him again yet. Frustrating, but not surprising. So if we haven't heard from him again by the end of this month, we will call and find out what's going on. It SHOULDN'T take that long, but who knows. Hopefully we have it by my birthday. That would make for an awesome birthday.
so for now, my mind has wandered and i can't remember what else i wanted to write about. Stupid mania. So i'm gonna go have my hot chocolate and try to get some sleep. LATERS
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