We are only 6 days into the year, and already things are all up and down and all around. Physically, i've felt exausted, stuffed up, and just run down. I'm not sure what's going on, but i know I've had some chest pains. Sometimes they hit me so hard that it feels like i can't get a deep breath, and it makes my head hurt. It's frustrating that i can't afford to go to the doctor to find out what's going on. Hopefully it's nothing serious that i NEED to go to the doctor for, and hopefully it goes away or levels out. My friend, who has suffered with similar stuff, thinks it's a problem with the beat of my heart. That it "Skips a beat" on occassion, and then has a hard time catching back up. He's been dealing with it for the last 17 years, since he was 19 years old. I hope it's just a bunch of random stress building and making me feel yucky.
My sister in law and I had made plans to watch the twilight trillogy together. She was supposed to come by around the time her dad went to work, and we were gonna watch all three. BUT, it's looking like we aren't gonna get to watch but MAYBE one. That kinda sucks. Not unexpected, but still, totally annoying. I just wish that for ONCE our plans would stay the same. That would be great. I guess i should just accept it though. It always happens. I've gotten to where i don't expect any plans i make with anybody else to happen because they almost always fall through.
Hopefully sometime soon we get the income tax, and we can actually make it work so we have some extra money out of that. Cause i want to go be stupid for a night. go do something that isn't important, that we either haven't done before, or haven't done in a while, and just enjoy ourselves without feeling bad that we just spent a lot of money on something frivolus (SP?) I need something new. I've fallen into a rut, and it feels like i'll never get out. Don't get me wrong, i feel very blessed. I"ve got two wonderful children, a great husband who works his ass off to provide for us and allow me to stay at home, and a roof over my head and clothes on my back and food in my stomach. But at times, i just feel like it's the same thing day in and day out and we can't do anything about it. Right now, we have no extra money. HELL, we barely have enough gas money to make ends meet. So going and doing some of the free stuff even is out of the question because of the gas money to get there. Like, i could have taken the girls to the zoo on a monday when they had free mondays because of winter. Or even going down to the water canal and going for a walk is out because of the gas, even though it's not THAT far away. And they don't have any playground equpiment outside right now. They are supposed to be replacing it, but i have no idea when, and until then it's just an open lot with a lot of sand and crap like that. So that's frustrating. They are stuck doing the same things all the time. Watch tv, play with their toys, watch movies, and when it works, Ivy plalys computer games.
Our desktop computer is being a brat. We need to take it apart and figure out what's up with it. And the xbox 360 stopped reading disks at all. And the playstation won't read certain disks. So all the stuff that we were doing for so long has crapped out on us. I'm working on my netbook right now, but it's a bit difficult with it being so small. So that's another reason we hope income tax comes in soon. Wanna get all that taken care of and replaced etc.
For now, i'm gonna go straighten up and change clothes. The sis in law should be here soon, and i do't want it to look like complete shit lol. LATERS
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