There are so many thing running through my head right now that it's hard to even construct a full sentence without having to reword it a billion times. Talking to friends online has become extreamely difficult, because it takes so long for me to reply. It's frustrating. There are so many things that i find myself wanting to say that i can't actually say any of them right. I know it's just the mania, and it will pass, but it is still frustrating. Even more so becaues of the fact i'm sick right now too. So my mind is going a billion miles an hour, and my body can't even go one. It is difficult. But life is difficult, and that hasn't stopped me yet.
There's a lot going on. Lots of things i need to get done, to go, to see, to talk to, etc. I need to write them all down or i will forget.
Thursday is the first, so that's food stamps day, which means grocery shopping, probably for the week and a half so we don't have to go again until monday the 12th.
Sometime before Friday i need to get our food stamps recertification information together and drop it off at the DHS so they can keep our food stamps case going. I know we are gonna lose some of our food stamps, seeing as how Ruben just got a raise, but it's ok. We will make it work. We always do, ya know?
Also sometime before friday i need to do a good deep clean on the house. Because Saturday my mom and Dad are coming up, and i want to be sure it's clean. I don't know why i care so much about what they think of my home, but i do. I think i am STILL trying to win their affection and respect. I always feel like they are judgeing me, or the way i live. I want to just look them in the eye and tell them everything that i need to say, but anxiety always stops me and i can't get the words out. So anyway, they are coming down Saturday and going home Sunday, so we will get to spend some time with them. And the AWESOME part is that, at least based on TODAY, the weather this weekend is gonna be cooler than it has been. Still warm, but not horrible.
Then Sunday is Laundry day, of course. Sunday afternoon after they leave we have to at least get Ruben's work clothes finished. Then we can always go over there Monday or Tuesday and finish up the rest because Ivy won't have school either of those days.
So monday and Tuesday Ivy won't have school, so i'm sure we will try to find something to go do out of the house for a bit. And HOPEFULLY the weather will be ok for it. And Monday is Ivy's birthday. And although we arne't haveing a party for her ON her birthday, she will still get to have a present or two.
Then Next saturday Ruben and the girls and I are gonna make a day of the adventure district. Or at least, that's MY plan. Hit the zoo EARLY as soon as they open, and enjoy walking around there for a bit until it starts to get hot. And then going over to the science museum and finally getting to explore there. A friend of mine got two complementary passes, and Desiree will be free, so all we will have to pay for is possibly one adult ticket, but HOPEFULLY one childs ticket, and the two complementary tickets can cover Ruben and I. That would rock. Either way though, it won't be a whole lot of money for all four of us to go. I can't wait until next year when we will have our passes and get to go whenever the girls and I want to. And to have a car that will take us up there in the summer without being stupid hot.
And then probably saturday night we will do Ivy's party at her grandparents house, unless we can convince them to come over here, lol. I doubt it, but hey, i can dream right?
Then come the bigger holidays and stuff. October with halloween, November with Thanksgiving, December with christmas and new years, and then january with my birthday. So yeah.
The only thing that has me a bit anxious, when it crosses my mind, is the thought of Ruben's paychecks getting garnished for that stupid car loan. I still hate them, and always will. Seriously, if you ever have to get a car for any reason, avoid credit acceptance corp, because they do nothing but fuck you around. So if that happens, that will cut our extra money down to next to nothing, but whatever. We still have a plan in place for next year. We will make it work. Not much else we can do huh?
Guess we will find out. For now though, i need to go distract myself and see if i can get my mind to shut up for more than two seconds. LATERS
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