It's been a rollercoaster this week. Had some good days, and had some really bad days. Gotten my hopes up and then had them crushed. But now it's time to sit down and figure out what my options are. So i'm gonna sit down here and write about it all, and see what stumbles out. Read it if you want, or not. I truly don't care. Just know that it's probably gonna sound crappy and emotional in parts, but that's just how it all made me feel.
It started almost a week ago now. I woke up Thursday morning with numbness in my toes on my left foot, and the baby toe on the right. Nothing really abnormal for me. Always had bad circulation, and my feet falling asleep was just something i'd become used to. But by that night, other things had started to go numb. Then Friday when i woke up, i was numb from the waist down. EVERYTHING: My toes all the way to my butt and private areas. (TMI, i know, but deal) Which kinda freaked me out. At first i was thinking maybe a pinched nerve, or i'd over strained the muscles and they were just rebelling, or something like that, and that taking a few days to rest would make it at least a little better. But by Sunday it hadn't changed.
So monday morning we went over to the ER here in town. Very nice people, very efficient, and very thorough. At first the doc thought it was the disorder that caused paralasis, but i still have reflexes, so it's not that. SOO, he ordered some blood work and a cat scan. Usually it takes about 30 minutes for the results, but he was back in the room in 10. SO obviously there was something pretty clean on that scan that they saw. He said they saw a white spot on the scan, and wanted to get a better look, so He ordered an MRI, made the appointment, and sent us on our way. No medication, NOTHING. Ok, whatever. So i came home and started to make arrangments for that appointment. They called yesterday for pre-registration, and got that all taken care of. Well, this morning we left to go for a walk and stretch things out a bit. Before we got where we were going, i get a phone call from my mother in law telling me the hospital had called and needed to speak to me. So when we got there and parked, i called them back. Got voicemail the first time, so when we got down by the park and let our daughter play, i called again. Come to find out the order had been canceled, and they couldn't get it ordered again. She said they'd keep trying, and she'd let me know before 3 what was going on. She also said the financial lady would call and work things out with me after noon.
So we get home and ate and waited for that phone call. She called, and i got some news that both pissed me off and upset me horribly. I got news that to even HAVE the test run in the first place, i'd have to come up with HALF of what I'd be charged UP FRONT! Now, because it is a state run hospital, they knock off 60% right off the top for people without insurance, but the total would have still been 1600 bucks! And i'd have to come up with half of it. I'd have to have $800 JUST TO HAVE THE TEST! Um, no. I barely have 10 dollars to spare. How in the hell am i supposed to come off $800? But at least we got the paperwork rolling on the charity case for the ER visit and cat scan, which in and of itself would have been damn near 4000 bucks! OMG hospitals like to rip people off. I know for a fact that it's not THAT MUCH to run a test. But whatever. So at least that should be taken care of. Gotta call on some of the other bills, like the doctors themselves, and the radiologist (just for reading the damn film!) to see what we can do about them.
So that all had me bawling my eyes out. I had gotten my hopes up that we could have the test run, i'd meet with the neurologist, and i'd actually have some idea about what was going on in my head. I still have the pain and numbness from the waist down, and i honestly have no clue what's going on. But now we have to figure out how to handle this another way. We are gonna look into Insure Oklahoma and see if we qualify for that. And then we are going to try to get over to OU medical and see if they can work something out for us like they did for my mother in law. All I know is there is something going on, in my brain, and i need to know what it is so i can start managing it. Frustrating, to say the least.
So now we are going to start working that out. At least i have the greatest friends and family, who are all supporting me and helping me through this emotional time. Without them, i think i would just curl up in a ball and cry and let it win. BUT, i am stronger than that. I am stronger than this. I will win. I have to. There is too much in my life worth living for. And i'm going to live the best life i can while i can. :)
For now, i'm going to go fix dinner. Chicken and rice. YUMMY! Then gonna watch some MLP with my girls while i try to wake their daddy up. Then i'm gonna get things ready, because tomorrow right after i walk her sissy to school, we are taking Desi-day to the zoo! Gonna get some pretty pictures of her, gonna see some of the animals, and hopefully just have a good day enjoying the weather outside. :) But before i do any of that, i need to go take some more painkillers and get something to drink. Crying takes a lot out of a person, lol. Thank goodness for everyone who has sent prayers, and who has givin me advice, or listened to me cry. It really helps more than i can ever say.
LATERS
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