So What Wednesday and Grumbling.

So What Wednesday

So what if my kitchen still isn't put up after pest control came out yesterday

So what if I haven't done much of anything today because my hearts been tripping and i'm exhausted

So what if I'm freaking out about money because NOTHING seems to be going as planned (I'll elaborate on that later)

So what if I'm watching movies I've seen a billion times because I'm homesick and wishing for the days of old

So what if I can't find the motivation to do half the stuff I've wanted to get done.

So what if I'm still tempted to down an entire bottle of alcohol because the thought of going numb for a while is so much easier to swallow than having to deal with this damn stress for one more day.

So what if I look through pinterest, and other bloggers blogs, and think "I'd love to do that.... Someday" and then never really get around to doing it.

So what if I just want to curl up and sleep the rest of the year away.

So what if I only keep moving because is because I know if I don't, nothing will get done.

So what if I get irritated when people say they will do something and then take FOREVER to do it - because when i say I'll have something done in a certain time period, I get it done.  Even if I'm hurting or tired, it gets done.  Excuses piss me off.

-<(:)>-<(:)>-<(:)>-<(:)>-<(:)>-<(:)>-<(:)>-<(:)>-<(:)>-

Ok, enough of that.  I can't think of any more.

Lately, it seems life hates me.  It gives me a moment of peace, and the time to think that everything is going to work out.  Then it knocks the floor out from under me and kicks me while I'm down.  Last month, a friend was supposed to be able to help us with the entire amount we needed for the late rent we had.  And then he got a bill that was way more than he expected and he could only give us 100 dollars less.  So instead I had to use the money from helping a family on base move to cover what was left.  Then I was going to work for a friend deep cleaning his bathroom for 150 plus dog sitting on base to cover this month.  Well, the deep cleaning isn't gonna happen because he's got car trouble.  SOO, now I've gotta cover that.  I know if we can make it through Sept I can make it work.  I just hope that this is not the month that sinks us, just before I'll be able to keep us above ground.  So all prayers and good wises etc would be greatly appreciated.

I've had some pretty intense health issues going on the last little while.  No, I really don't want to talk about it.  Yes, I'll be ok (I'm still breathing aren't i? That's good enough for me, lol).  Please don't ask.  Please don't expect me to talk about it.  If you need to know, I'll pass the message along.  But for now, very few know and I'd like to keep it that way.  Don't take offense to it.  I don't' mean it in a bad way.  I love you all, and I know I couldn't have made it through all the crap I deal with if you weren't a part of my life.

Tomorrow is payday.  Gotta get some stuff taken care of.  Hopefully I can do that without much effort on my end.  I'm exhausted and feel blah.

Can't wait until I have a good working car. 

I seriously need to make a trip down to visit my peoples.

Been crazy homesick. :(  But it won't be until after the first of the year, and probably after income tax, before we can get that taken care of.  Just pray that my current car makes it that long.  The way life is going, I have to have faith that it will all be ok.

Been doing a lot of personal writing lately.  Not blogging, but actualy pen to paper writing.  Letting a lot of things out.  It doesn't seem enough.  My mind is still RACING.  But ya know what?  I can't really complain too much.  There are people that have it WAY worse than we have it.  We still have food on the table, clothes on our backs, a roof over our head.  So I am thankful for that. 

Ok, need to go figure otu what's for dinner.  I'm not hungry cause I've got a migraine.  But the family needs to eat, lol.  LATERS