I never got to tell you

The last few nights, I've been waking up from a dream that feels so real.  A dream about someone I loved once upon a time.  A dream about someone who gave up on life and left me behind, even though I thought we'd be together forever.  It's been YEARS and YEARS ago now.  But times like this, it still stings like it happened yesterday.  And sometimes the only thing I can do about it is to sit down and write.  So that's what this is.  Just a poem.  Nothing fancy.  I just sat down and started writing and this is what came out.  It pretty accurately describes a lot though. 

Just read it with a grain of sand, and realize that I really am happy with my life as it is right now.  I have Amazing friends, wonderful family, and so many people that I love.  My life is blessed in so many ways, and while I do struggle with everyday life BS sometimes, and sometimes it's STUPID crazy, I really can't complain.  We've always had a roof over our head, food in our stomachs, clothes on our backs, and a wonderful circle of friends and family who are there to support us no matter what's going on in life.  So again, just read it as me writing a memory, and nothing more.

~ ~ ~ (:) ~ ~ ~

I NEVER GOT TO TELL YOU

I never got to tell you how much you touched my life.

I never got to tell you how much I loved you

I never got to say just how important you were

You were there, such a huge part of my life

And then in the blink of an eye

you were gone.

You left me here, alone, scared.

Afraid of what the future would hold

Lonely, and unsure

You were everything

And now I have nothing.

And I never got to tell you

And sometimes I still dream of you

holding my hand and walking on the beach

watching the scary movies in the dark

wrapped up in your arms, safe

So sure that everything would be ok

no matter how crazy the world outside got

And then I wake up

with tears streaming down my face

Staining my pillow, burning my eyes

and I realize I'm still alone

and I hate that I never got to tell you

I live my life to the fullest

Although sometimes it doesn't feel full

because those memories left a hole

that nobody else will ever be able to fill

I have people who I love

and who love me in return

Little ones who need me

the same way I thought I needed you

I still have moments of awe

Watching a sunset over the lake

sitting on the beach, wrapped in a blanket.

Seeing a rainbow when it's pouring outside

And they remind me of you

and how amazing you were to me

And they remind me how much I miss you

And how I never got to tell you

And it's been YEARS since you left

And I really have moved on

But there are still times I remember

And times I wish I could forget

Moments that knock the breath out of me

because it hurts so bad

and there is nothing I can do about it.

You were my everything

The reason I got up in the morning

But now you're gone

And I'm left without you

Because you gave up

and I never could

And I never got to tell you