Memories

The last couple days I've been really nostalgic.  I long for the days when we were just out of high school, without a real care in the world.  When we could stay up till the wee hours of morning listening to our crazy crappy music driving around to God knows where.  The times when it wasn't such a big deal to just show up at someones house because, lets be honest, none of us were really doing anything important, haha.  Sitting around watching movies we knew we weren't supposed to watch (or at least I wasn't supposed to watch, lol).  Going to random concerts in the little corner concert halls full of people we could talk about nothing with for HOURS. 

I miss the places we spent most of our childhood.  The neighborhood where we could walk down the street in the rain, splashing in puddles up to our ankles, and not have to worry about some random stranger picking us up and taking us with them.  The times we could hop on our bikes and explore the random corners of our neighborhoods.  The times we'd hang around at the local parks playing the drums snuggled together against the cold.  The times we'd spend HOURS laying around on the bed at a random friends house with TV on in the background we weren't really paying attention to because we were too busy just talking and having fun. 

I miss the orchestra trips.  Colorado.  St. Lewis.  Heck, even TULSA, haha.  Seeing places we'd never seen before (at least colorado was seriously awesome and new, and some of the stuff we did in St. Lewis was awesome too).  Going to Six flags, and white water, and the random Second City performance.  Shopping at a random shopping center along the way where we decided we would stop for lunch.  I still have one of the jackets I bought back then.  A blue jean duster.  I love that jacket, lol.  It reminds me of a seriously awesome time.  I still have the pictures from some of the trips we took. although I can't really get to most of them right now because they are burried in the garage at my in-laws house.  I need to dig that trunk out sometime soon.  I bet it will be an awesome little time capsule. :)

I miss the impromptu trips to Fayetville, or Tulsa, just to go shopping or hang out at the arcade.  I miss the arcade!!!  Seems like all the good arcades are closed now :(  Those were some damn good times.  Watching me fumble through dance dance, haha.  I miss the countless hours we used to spend watching movies for free at the movie theatre.  I even miss the few times we went skating.  Never was very good, but it was always a good time.  I need to get the girls to the skating rink up here.  There's one not too far from where we are. 

Most of all though, I miss the people.  Cassie, and Ashley, and Misty (Michael) and Jason, and countless others we killed CRAZY hours with. I miss the friends I made after high school too. After I'd met Ruben, and started to get to know all his friends too.  Jeremy, and Desiree, and Matt E.  And Matt K.  We felt like a family, and spent enough time together to call ourselves one, lol.  I miss that. 

Don't get me wrong, I love it up here.  I really do.  Being able to take the girls to the zoo whenever we want (thank you Zoofriends).  Going for walks down by the water canal.  Having a 2 dollar theater basically in my back yard.  And being a stones throw away from Draper Lake.  And I have some really great friens up here too.  Gaming friends - Daniel, and James, and Jacqui, and Rachel, and Danny, and Ken, and Tony.  And just friends i've made along the way through jobs, or Ivy's school - Monika, and Michelle, and Ben and Anna, and Alyssa.  But we really don't get to see each other all that often.  We live so far apart, or our schedules are so different, that we just can't make the time.  I think that's where I have so much trouble up here.  That's what I miss most.  The chance to hang out with people, and spend actual face time with those I care for the most.  We've debated back and forth over the years we've lived up here about moving back down to Arkansas.  And there really are two sides to both stories.  Pros and cons for BOTH sides, and neither one really comes out ahead. 

For example:

Arkansas has the friends that would probably be able to make more time to spend with us. 
Arkansas has plenty of things to do for free - The park, the water front, etc.
     And also cheap things - Like the pool hall and the skating rink.
Arkansas is a bit slower paced.  Not always running from one place to another unless you just want to.  Which is completely oposite from up here.

But then Arkansas has the whole Bible Belt thing going on.  It has my parents (And while I LOVE my family, the way they try to always turn things to the Jehovah's witnesses conversation is a bit much.  And I really can't be MYSELF when I'm down there.  There are a lot of things that I don't think they'd approve of.  And while I don't feel guilty for doing them, I also don't want to have that hanging over my head every single day because I see them every day)  And the job market isn't all that great down there.  Unless you're willing to work in a Factory or warehouse for the rest of your life, you have a much harder time finding a good steady job down there. We were ALWAYS struggling to make ends meet down there.  And it was frustrating.


Oklahoma City has the OKC Zoo.  The Water Canal.  Draper Lake.  Arcadia Lake.  Plenty of Shopping - The Shoppes of OKC, Penn Square Mall, And other shopping centers too.  There are plenty of movie theatres with plenty of affordable options, as well as a few that are awesome for special nights out.  And the people up here don't judge me because I like to take a few puffs of a clove cig every now and then.  And they don't judge me because I curse like a sailor when I'm angry.  I've become a pretty big tabletop gamer, and that is pretty darn big up here too.  Ruben has an awesome job, and there are plenty of other jobs that he could qualify for if he really ever needed to.  And I have a chance to get a good job once Desiree starts school.  And the girls school they are in right now is AWESOME!  And even the apartment we are in, despite being in a rougher part of the neighborhood, is pretty darn awesome too. 

But on the con side - there isn't much chance for people to really hang out.  Everyone is always so busy, and with our car acting up and stuff we just can't find the time or money to get together.  Maybe that will change after income tax lets us fix our car, but that's yet to be seen.  And the cost of living is a bit higher up here too.  And I'm sure there are more if I really sat down and focused.

So it's really just about where we can be STABLE.  And for now at least, that's up here.  We've still got over a year left on our lease, and we are wanting to be sure to finish it out.  THEN we will see about moving somewhere else. 



Wow, that was a heck of a lot of rambling.  Thank you if you actually took the time to read it all, lol.  HOPEFULLY next year we will be able to visit friends and family a lot more, and maybe relive some of the amazing memories we've had over the years.  Till then, Just know I'm thinking about you, and I MISS YOU!