Well, I had every intention of writting every single day. And then our computer crapped out. Well, kinda, haha. We were gonna upgrade to Windows 7, so he wiped the drive and started the reinstall. And that's when the drive crapped out. Like, completely. Wouldn't retain any information AT ALL. SOO, we had to replace the drive, reinstall windows, and reinstall everything we needed on it so that we could use it. SOOO, yeah. lol.
So here I am. Back to writting.
Gonna catch up on the daily writings, and then write a little more.
4 your definition of love
5 your best friend(s)
6 a moment
7 your beliefs
8 your siblings
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4 - Your definition of Love
My definition of love is a bit complex. To me, love isn't just something that you can put into words. It's something that you have to show through your actions. It's running out in the middle of the night to get random pregnancy cravings. It's finding little ways to fulfill wishes (like for me, I always said I wanted to find a way to be in two places at once - so he took me to the state line and had me put one foot on each side of the line. So I was in two states at one time. Awesome huh?) It's being an amazing dad to two amazing little girls. It's finding ways to make me feel better about myself, even on my worst days. It's for better or worse. It's accepting my faults, and me accepting his, and doing whatever we can to make the other person feel less self concious about them. It's being able to fight, and still wake up next to each other the next day (or in our case, spending every spare moment together after the fight, since he works nights and all). It's staying up all night while your kids are sick. It's giving a hug just because, and giving a kiss goodnight every night. It's always being there for someone, even if you don't see each other every day. That's love. Love is always there, no matter what else is going on. And I love YOU! You know who you are. :)
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5 - Your best friend(s)
The original title was best FRIEND, but I have more than one. That's why I added the s, haha. I seriously have some of the most amazing best friends ever. Even though we live so far apart, and we don't get to see each other all that often, I know they are always there for me. And I hope they know that I'm always there for them too.
Cassie and Ashley have been my best friends FOREVER (well, might as well be forever, haha) since we went to school together. Played in Orchestra together. Did drama together. And just all around spent TONS of time together. I couldn't ask for better friends - because they go out of their way to make sure we always have a good time when we can get together.
Loren and Jordan - even though I've never actually met you guys in person, you're always there for me too. There to talk to when I need a listening ear. There to help me with problems when you can. And there to remind me that there are people out there that love me too. (same with Cassie and Ashley)
And I have other friends too. Maybe not BEST friends, but friends none the less. And I feel very very blessed to have them in my life. :)
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6 - a moment
Wow, this one is a bit difficult for me to figure out. There are so many moments in my life that it's hard to pin down just one. But I think if I had to choose, there are THREE moments that take the cake.
Ruben and I's first wedding. Yeah, it was small and very spontaneous. But it was BEAUTIFUL. It was down by the river in Fort Smith, with friends around us, and beautiful vows. It couldn't have been any better (well, if others could have made it maybe, but it was still beauiful) It was definetly better than the actual wedding. I didn't have a single person at that one for me, so yeah.
And the other two were when my littles were born. Ivy and Des are the joy of my life, and while they drive me CRAZY sometimes, they still make my life so much brighter. Watching them grow and learn. Watching as they grown in to amazing little people. I couldn't ask for more amazing children. Not at all.
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7 - your beliefs
Ok. I read that as what are your RELIGIOUS beliefs. So that's what I'm gonna write about, k?
Now, anybody who TRULY knows me knows this is a touchy subject. It probably always will be. So I'm going to write what I believe, the way I believe it. Take it with a grain of salt, and accept that it's going to be different than you believe.
I was born and raised a Jehovahs witness. I lived my life based on the beliefs that they taught as well as I knew how. Now, mind you, I'm human. I make mistakes. I did things that were wrong. And I understand that. But I think my problem was when those HUMAN MISTAKES caused those that I was raised with and around in the congregation basically disowned and disassociated me. A lot of them basically treated me like I didn't exist. Instead of helping me realize what I'd done wrong, and helping me live a better life, I was left out on my own. And it was that way for quite a while. I wasn't allowed to answer at the meetings. Wasn't allowed to go out in field service and speak at the doors without someoen there with me. Wasn't allowed to really do ANYTHING that I'd grown up doing. I was expected to just accept my fate too - because OBVIOUSLY I knew what I did, and according to them I wasn't repentant enough. I felt abandoned. Betrayed by the people who had always told me I could come to them for anything. SO I rebelled. I got a job that I loved, with people and hours they hated. I started smoking, and drinking (started underage too) and really just quit caring. Because obviously I had been betrayed by God who left these IMPERFECT MEN in charge of everything down here on earth.
Now, I have a completely different view on faith and beliefs. I believe that all that really matters is that you have faith. That you believe in something. And that if you believe in that something with everything you have that it's true. I think that as long as you're living you live the best way possible, that you're doing the right thing. I don't think that all of our ways of living should be based on a book that was written by men CENTURIES ago. Yeah, a lot of the writtings are good GUIDELINES - but living by them word for word is just crazy to me. Especially when they are SO MANY VERSES that contridict themselves, ya know? So yeah, that's how I believe when it comes to religion.
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8 - your sibling(s)
Now, I only have the one sister. My little sister, Whitney. She's my younger sister, but in a lot of ways she was more mature than me, haha. Physically, for example, she started "developing" a lot sooner than I did. She started exploring things before I did. She wasn't afraid to drive, like me (yeah, don't ask). And while we rarely got along as little kids, she's one of the best people I know. She is an AMAZING mother. A great wife. A friend who listens when you need to talk. Just a great person all around. She's a stay at home mom, and she homeschools her kids, and keeps up with the house, AND puts up with my grandma (LOVE YOU GRANDMA) all at the same time. I honestly don't think I could do it, ya know? So yeah, she's an amazing person. And I love her very very much.
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Ok, I think that catches me up, haha. HOPEFULLY the computer will cooperate so I won't have to do that again anytime soon. Not that I don't enjoy writting, but having to catch up on stuff like that makes my head hurt cause I've actually gotta kinda think, haha. :p
Today was the start of the second week of school for my littles. Hard to believe the first week is already gone. Probably because I stayed pretty busy that whole week. Not that it's a bad thing, but that's probably why. This week, we are gonna try to get Ruben to bed earlier so he can get up and have the evenings with the girls, since he won't get the time during the mornings with then while they are in school. And Desi is already asking if she can walk herself in, haha. It's so weird for me, truthfully. I just can't come to terms with the fact she is having absolutly no seperation anxiety at all, lol. Cause I sure am!!! On well. I'm doing good, all things considered.
Like today, Ruben crashed at 12:30. Then I went and got groceries for the rest of the month and came home and put them up. Then watched Josie and the Pussycats. Yeah, been FOREVER, haha. Great background noise type movie.
Tomorrow I'm going out to help Jim unpack some more. He's got quite a bit to do before he will be completely caught up, so I'm helping him get there before he goes back to work so he has less to keep up with. And MAYBE I can get him to pay me to come vaccuum and mop and all that jazz too. :) Could be pretty kool to get a little extra money again, since Brita and them moved. I hope they are doing ok. Haven't heard from them since they left. But anyway, so that will take up most of the day tomorrow.
Then Wednesday I'm going to focus on the house. Gonna clean off the table, put the living room back together, and hopefully get our bedroom back together too. And then I think I'm gonna try to focus on the girls clothes again. Actually get rid of some stuff that's too small and all that. Cause there's NO WAY we can fit them all in their closet and dresser. No freaking way, haha. They have a TON of clothes. So I'm gonna do my best to get that all pared down. If I don't, not the end of the world. But I'm honestly tired of it taking up so much space in our bedroom
Thursday is another day around the house. So gonna get some more work done around the house. Hopefully we can get it all back to square one by the end of the day Thursday so we can start the weekend off right, ya know?
Friday morning I'll spend with Ruben. :) Don't have a clue what we are gonna do, but I'm sure we will do something. Then Friday afternoon I'm driving out to help another friend clean his house too. :) It feels good to be able to actually do things like that again, and actually get some extra money instead of having to spend it all on the gas to get there and back. THANKS AGAIN CASSIE! :)
Right now, i'm gonna get off the comp for a few and take some pics. It's that time again. FUNDRAISER! UGH! lol. So gonna take pics and post it and see if anybody actually wants anything. LATERS!
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