Emotions

It's heartbreaking when I know friends are fighting, and there's not really anything I can say or do to help ease the argument.  And it's heartbreaking to know that if they keep going down this path they are going to break up - even though they are great for each other and life has just thrown them a bunch of BS to see if they are strong enough to handle it.  If Ruben and I can handle the things that life has thrown at us, and come out the other side stronger - then I know they can handle it too.  But they have to be willing to talk, to see each others side of things.  But instead they are all screaming they are going to leave, or aren't really talking at all.  It's frustrating, but it's something that I need to realize isn't in my hands and I need to leave it to god.  I need to just pray that they realize what needs to be done, and that they are strong enough to do it.  So sending prayers their way, and letting it go to God, because I can't handle the tears right now. I LOVE YOU GUYS, but this is something that you have to fix yourselves.  I'm here, if you want advice or to talk, but YOU have to fix it.  There is no magic FIX ME button in marriage.  It takes a LOT of work.

 

It's heartbreaking how so many people expect the world to hand them something that they REFUSE to do the work for.  There are those of us that have busted our butts to get to where we are today - living in kitchens and in living rooms and in single bedrooms with no money to our name at all. Sometimes we wondered where our next meal would come from, or if we would be able to keep a roof over our heads.  BUT, we never expected anybody to just hand us something.  We did whatever work we could find to make ends meet.  The people that just piss and moan and cry that life is unfair piss me off. Life offers plenty of chances to pick yourselves up and make a better life for yourself - if you'd just take it.  So please - don't come to me asking for a handout because you can't make it work. Don't feed me the pity me bullshit.  I have NO SYMPATHY for people like that.  I'm so thankful that the majority of my friends and family aren't that way, but the few of you that are need to suck it up and GROW UP.  K?  Thanks.

 

It makes me happy that the babies that have been born lately are doing so good.  And the babies that are growing in mamas tummies are doing good too.  Rachel and Whitney - you made a couple BEAUTIFUL little girlies.  Can't wait until I can meet them in person.  Seriously, I wish I could meet them yesterday, haha.  But life has gotten in the way, and it's hard to find the time to visit.  SOON!  VERY soon I hope.  And to Brittany and Marcy, I can't wait to meet your littles too. Hopefully the rest of your pregnancies go smoothly and you have to wonderful little people. :)  Ready for the chance to spoil some new littles since Ruben and I aren't going to have any more (at least we've decided no more for now. So chances are we won't be having any more).  But I still love littles, and I will use that love to spoil the other littles in my life, hehe.

 

I am frustrated that I can't find the motivation to get the house more organized.  It's probably because I can't afford to get the stuff I need to do it the way that I want to do.  But I NEED to get it done.  So it is SO VERY frustrating

 

I'm exhausted, but can't sleep.  My brain has been going a billion miles an hour.  Maybe when the girls get home here in a little bit I can lay down and get myself a little cat nap.

For now, i need to take my emotions and turn the music up and use them to clean the main rooms in the house.  Soon as I go get the girls, haha.  LATERS!