34 something you always think "what if" about
Hmm, there are a few things I think what if about.
But none that I'd actually change if given the chance.
The first is what if I'd never worked at the movie theatre - which I'm super glad I did. It was a great first job (real job), I met some pretty awesome people that I'm still friends with to this day, an I met my hubby there too. And without him, I wouldn't have my two beautiful littles. So while I wonder what life would have turned out to be if I'd never worked at the movie theatre, I know I'm grateful that I worked there because of how my life worked out.
I think what if I'd gotten a different job after leaving the movie theatre. Cause from there I ended up working all kinds of places. Retail, call center, sales - and none of them stuck. What would have happened, and where would we have ended up - if I'd found a job that actually paid well and that I enjoyed? Cause I seriously doubt it'd be here where we are now. Now yeah, life SUCKED for a few years there. We struggled BAD. BUT, where we are now is the perfect places for us. Despite all the struggles we deal with, we always end up where we NEED to be, even if it's not really where we WANT to be, ya know?
And I wonder what if I'd gotten with someone else. There are a few people that I can think of that I COULD have ended up with if life had been slightly different. And I've caught myself wondering what life would have been like with them. But I never regret my life with Ruben and the girls. I do regret some of the CHOICES we made, but never the fact that we are together and have two amazing little girlies to call our own. :)
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35 something that you're proud of
I am proud of ME
I'm proud of how far I've come in the last couple years. I'm a completely different person in some aspects. I'm more positive about things. I refuse to make as many excuses, and I refuse to use things I can't control as an excuse not to do things that I CAN control. I've learned to let go when I have no control. I've learned to step up when I do. I've learned it is ok to say no. I really have changed, and I am so proud of how far I've come. And to hell with what anybody who disagrees thinks, haha.
I am proud of my girls!
They are growing so darn fast. And they are SOO smart. Ivy and her advanced learning classes, plus her regular classes, and she's still pulling A/B honor roll. Desiree and how well she's doing in Kindergarten. She can count to 100 like a pro (at least at home - we think she gets nervous in front of her teacher) She can spell most of her colors. She can name all her letters, and all her numbers. (well, at least the capital letters - still working on the lower case). She really is doing so darn good. And they are such big helpers around the house, without me having to ask. Like Ivy helping clean up MY mess yesterday, and Desi likes to help with dinner, and dishes. I couldn't be more proud of the wonderful little women they are growing into.
And I am proud of Ruben.
He doesn't like his job. In fact, most of the time he HATES some of the people he has to deal with, haha. (But really, who HONESTLY has a job that they love? I don't know that many) But despite all the things that he doesn't like about the job, he stays because it keeps a roof over our heads, food in our stomach, and clothes on our back. In fact, he puts up with crap that I couldn't put up with anymore, haha. And he doesn't let it really get him down. And that's awesome, if you ask me, considering when we first got together we BOTH jumped jobs like crazy. He is such an amazing father, and amazing husband, and just an amazing friends and person. And I couldn't be more proud of how far he has come too.
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36 a problem that you've had
Recently the only real problem that I've had is asking for help when I need it, lol. I know it's ok to say no, I'm not up to doing something. But if I've already agreed to it, I will fight through it no matter what - even when I'm having a REALLY bad day. And I have a hard time asking for help. Thank goodness Ruben and most of my friends can tell when I need help, and just offer it instead, haha. Yeah, I know, sad huh?
And the only other thing I can think of is dealing with the lonliness. The couple hours I have to myself Monday through Thursday is exhausting. It's hard to find something to fill those hours. I seriously need to find SOMETHING to do that I actually enjoy. No clue what though, haha. Guess that's something I'll have to work on.
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37 five items you lust after
Some are big, so just put up with me, haha.
1: - I lust after an actual HOUSE to live in - with a good back yard, and a spacious kitchen, and a laundry room. Somewhere that I could do everything that I need to do, and have space for the family to GROW and not feel cramped. I eventually want a three bedroom house - where each girl can have their own room, and we can all have our own space. That's one of the things I lust for most, lol
2: - A good working car. Which we will HOPEFULLY have TWO good working cars out of income tax this year. We will AT LEAST have ONE good running car out of income tax - depending on how much it all costs. And we will have TWO paid off cars! That will be AWESOME, haha.
3: - A body that doesn't fight with me when there's something physical I want to do. Stupid MS, haha. It's not HORRIBLE, but I'd like to be able to work out for longer than 30 minutes some days before the pain gets so bad that I have to stop, because when that happens I'm usually lousy for the next couple days. I wanna go hiking again, and rock climbing, and swimming at the lake, etc. That would be WONDERFUL!
4: - Ruben to find a good DAYTIME, good paying job so that we can have him home in the evenings again. It's been a while since we've had more than an hour or two at night, and an hour in the mornings where the girls can spend time with him during the school year. It would be nice if we could find that. Not betting on it happening - but there are things in the works that COULD potentially offer him that chance. :)
5: - I lust for more time to spend with my friends and family in Arkansas. To be able to visit once every couple months for a day or two. That would be great. I seriously miss them like CRAZY living up here. But we gotta do what we gotta do huh?
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Ok, think that's all I've got tonight
LOVE YOU GUYS
LYZ
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